I'm Only Human, After All
by MKissyT
Summary: All it takes is one split second decision to change everything. S2 AU Cover Art by AlinaSorkina
1. Your Body Talks

**I finally figured out how to upload onto FF! Chapter 1 is in response to Nevertothethird's Tumblr Challenge - Logan x Veronica AU Week - Day 2, Canon Divergence.**

 **Huge thanks to Irma66, who is the best Beta and buddy this girl could ask for!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

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Veronica watched through the dirty window as Logan walked the length of the bus, his head still down. As if he could feel her eyes on him, he looked back at her let his shoulder and caught her stare. Veronica could feel her eyebrow involuntarily quirk up, a small smirk playing on her lips. Quickly she schooled her features trying her best to cover her subconscious actions, but unfortunately she found not quick enough. The look was clearly caught by Logan, his eyebrows flying high, stopping dead in his tracks and turning fully to face her.

'Oooh no no no. Don't you do it. Don't even think about it buddy…! Don't get on the bus, don't get on the bus, don't get on - DAMMIT!' Veronica thought and groaned internally as she rolled her eyes. The look of shock had been replaced with his signature "smirk du jackass," winking up at her as he started back towards the line for the bus doors.

Exasperated, she let out a long sigh and plopped down in the dear next to her, Duncan following close behind. At least the window seat could allow her to curl up into a ball and lean against it, making it unnecessary to interact with anyone. She still didn't like any of the 09ers (aside from the obvious) and would rather be invisible than breathe the same air as them.

She closed her eyes preparing for the painfully slow ride ahead, when she felt someone shuffle into the seat behind her and Duncan. Without opening her eyes she knew immediately who it was. 'Damn him and that gravitational pull! Can't it just go away…? Oh, to be indifferent…'

She could feel his eyes through the seat. She knew he was tugging at his sleeves. She could see the smirk forming on his lips in her head. She felt him shift and lean forward. And she couldn't help but secretly smile to herself, waiting for what she knew deep down were the words she'd been waiting for since he leered his smart ass "ah, young love" comment at her earlier.

"Ok Mars…" he said in his low, deep voice - so quietly only she could hear. "Challenge Accepted….!"

Eyes still closed, Her face broke out in a full blown grin as she whispered…

"FINALLY…!"


	2. Make Me Feel Like I Do

Chapter 2

Thanks to her ingenious plan of shoving headphones in her ears and feigning sleep, the remainder of the bus ride was uneventful. At least to as far as the oblivious boy next to her was concerned, not seeming to pick on any of the electric tension Veronica was positive she was leaking through from her pores. She was had angled up against the window so her body was wedged in the space between the seat and the wall of the bus. Opening her right eye slightlya crack, she peaked peeked over at Duncan. His head was turned while in conversation towards Enbom. She frowned slightly, annoyed that he hadn't engaged with her, hadn't even bothered to nudge her or anything since they sat down.

 _Stop it. This is Duncan. Of courseYou know he cares. He just knows understands that I need a little space and is respectful enough to give it to me. Unlike some people..._

Without looking, she knew that Logan was leaning up against the window in the seat behind her, jovially talking across the aisle to Dick and Beaver. He sounded to so calm and... normal. Well, as normal as any guy currently hated by half the population of Neptune could be. She found herself a bit jealous that he could seem so as unaffected by her as she was by him and with his body so CLOSE to her. She thought that he would have at least attempted to annoy her by snarking or teasing or, hell, even insulting her in some way – anything to assert his presence and continue with whatever that was when he got on the bus earlier.

Berating herself for even allowing her mind to wonder anything Logan related, she gave up her tired charade and began looking for something she could blast from her iPod, allowing her to get lost in the lyrics and forget about everything (everyone) else. Switching to her playlists, she started scrolling through the never-ending list.

 _Killers, Essentials, Black Keys, Green Day, Cold Play Hits, Bobcat's List of Delectable Hits, Dandy Warhols, Gorillaz, Spoon, – Wait, what?_

Veronica let out a small gasp as she scrolled back up. _Bobcat's List of Delectable Hits_. She had completely forgotten about the playlist Logan had been bugging her to let him make for her. She had been worried that he would put some raunchy porn music on it and made it clear that she wasn't going to let Logan have his way _–_ \- clearly, she'd failed at that. She glanced up over her shoulder at Duncan who was still wasno't facing her. Shifting her eyes left, she saw Logan still leaning up against the window, but now he was on his phone playing a game she assumed, brows furrowed and a look of intense concentration on his face. She smirked a bit and looked back down at her iPod, her finger hovering over the select button. She could feel a slow slow-growing warmth in the pit of her stomach. Butterflies or nerves, perhaps, but whatever it was, she didn't want it to stop. Decidedly With that choice made, she pushed select.

 _Oh God. Of course, you would go there! You never were able to pull off subtle very well with me. Unless you were banking on that.._.

At the top of the list was Incubus' "Stellar", a song that he had playing (purposely, she suspected) every time they got into a heady make out on the couch in his living room or on his bed. She shook her head lightly, knowing full well what the lyrics implied, and yet - she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She could feel the flush crawling up to the top of her face. She damned Logan for knowing exactly how to get THAT kind of emotional rise out of her as she gave one last glance up towards Duncan. Satisfied that he was not the least bit interested in what she was doing, she shifted until her back was flush against the seat. Pulling her bottom lip under her teeth, she closed her eyes and pushed play, letting one of the many, MANY memories she had been attempting ( _and again with the failing!_ ) to suppress for the last few weeks overtake her senses, finally allowing her to drown herself in it.

 _ **"Meet me in outer space. We could spend the night, watch the Earth come up..."**_

 _ ****FLASHBACK****_

 _Logan, in his board shorts and Veronica, in her new Black black String string Bikini bikini and cut off jean shorts– (an outfit she wore only ever wore for him–), were sat lounging lazily, both pairs of legs intertwined on the couch in his living room. Startleding her out of the haze of their post poolside shenanigans haze, she jumped when Logan reached across her in an attempt to grab her new iPod from her lap._

 _"Um, what are you doing?"_

 _"Your playlist's are a complete disaster. Your music selection desperately requires a much-needed face lift. Lucky for you, your boyfriend is a learned scholar of all things disaster- ridden and is generously bestowing upon you his talent."_

 _"I'm sorry, it sounded like you just said disaster. Did I hear that right?"_

 _Wiggling his eyebrows and giving her his lazy grin, Logan nodded in agreement._

 _Veronica jutted her chin upwards with a smug smirk plastered, her eyes sparkling at back at him. "Mm hmm. Says the man who thinks 'My Lumps' is an acceptable song."_

 _"Hey! I am an equal opportunity listener and enjoy all genres! I'll have you know that anything Fergie sings, says, touches and hell, looks at, is grade A ++, and I have no shame in admiring a talented lyricist like her. Plus, Will. and the Black Eyed Peas are fuckin' awesome! Even you, Ms. Music Snob, can't disagree."_

 _"Writing and singing 'My lumps, my lumps, my lovely lady lumps' is not impressive. I'm betting my dog could come up with something better, and his vocab is limited to woof woof and woof. So, you just keep on telling' yourself all of … that, buddy."_

 _"You know what? I think I will, Surly Spice!"_

 _Logan yelped, his hands shooting up to block Veronica when she gasped in feigned horror and lunged at him with her fists. Logan yelped, his hands shooting up to block her. In an obvious Aattempting to distract her, he grabbed her at the wrists, flipping them upwards and kissing the insides where, they'd recently discovered, she was especially sensitive. Accepting her temporary defeat, she giggled at the sensation and slouched back into the couch, purposely not pulling her arms back._

 _"That's Superior Spice to you, thank you very much."_

 _Sitting back up on her knees, Veronica threw one of her legs over Logan's waist and straddled him, her wrists still her held in his hands. He looked up at her, his smile slick and eyes filled with lust (and something else she wasn't ready to analyze yet) and leaned into her to nip her left ear._

 _"Superior, huh? How about...Stellar Spice?"_

 _He nipped at her neck this time as she scoffed at his response, unconsciously turningeven as she turned her head for to give him better access. He let released her wrists go and wrapped his arms around her waist. In turn, she slid her arms around his neck and raked her nails along the base of his head._

 _"Stellar?" She leaned to his right and he fully nuzzled his face into her neck. "Come on, Echolls. You can do better than that."_

 _"Sexy Spice..." He he murmured as he began rubbing his arms up and down her back. He licked from the base of her neck up to THAT spot and lightly sucked, causing her to softly moan. She loosened her grip around his neck and slightly pulled back so she couldenough to look down at his face. Sitting upright, he looked up at her with hooded eyes and she gave him a superior smirk, her eyebrow quirked upwards._

 _"Getting warmer..."_

 _Taking his face in her hands, she leaned down, and pressinged their foreheads together. Their breathing was heavy now, the electric desire and lust pulsing between them. He looked at her lips and leaned in._

 _"Sinful Spice..." His voice dropped to the husky tone she loved and he smiled that secret smile only she had seen as their eyes locked._

 _"Hot.." She she said breathlessly._

 _With a jolt jerk, he tilted his head up, and capturinged her lips in a searing kiss, one hand now grasping at the base of her neck and the other on the side of her face. Teeth and tounges began to duel for dominance and she giggled again as he twisted them and they fell back into the couch, her body molding against his as she wrapped her right leg around the back of his, pinning herself underneath him - the iPod and thoughts of music forgotten as their mutual passion overtook them._

 _A week later, the community pool burned down._

 _A few days after that, they broke up._

 _After her first official date with Duncan two weeks later, she'd came come home to find a small wrapped box on her doorstep. That And that night, instead of thoughts to of her safe, normal boyfriend, she'd cried herself to sleep over the boy she knew she had loved, but even though she hadn't been worth enough to him (so she thought) for him to stop his own disaster-ridden vendetta._

 _The iPod had been shoved into the back of her desk drawer and forgotten about until school had started back up again, but the memories of passion and playlists had long sinceremained suppressed, buried, right next to her heart._

 _***END FLASHBACK***_

"Veronica. Babe. Hey, wake up!"

Veronica jumped suddenly as her reverie was broken by the light shove she'd felt onagainst her shoulder. She looked up and saw Duncan, already out of the seat and looking at her expectantly. She blinked and stared at him in confusion, still reeling from the emotional chasm she'd had just torn opentumbled into that was currently had the blood coursing through her veins at a rapid pace.

"We're here and this bus reeks, babe. Come on, let's go."

As she continued to stare at him, Duncan seemed to Ffinally realize that ing something was a little off, and he Duncan leaned back into the seat, extending an arm towards her.

"Hey, are you ok? Do you feel sick? You look a little flushed."

She shook her head, pushing herself out of what she surmised was a lust induced haze (dammit Logan!), a haze that was clearly apparently noticeable if since it caught even Duncan's attention could see the flush she knew had risen up to her hairline by now.

"I-I'm fine. It's fine. Just go and I'll catch up. Still… um,… still trying to wake up." She smiled up at him as and he nodded in acceptance, andthen turned back towards Enbom and to resumed their conversation. Which, of course he did. When did he ever really look at her and take notice of...well, anything really, that didn't directly affect him?

The smile dropped as she rolled her eyes and pulled her earphones out. Leaning down to grab her messenger bag at her feet, she had the sudden sensation of a new set of eyes on her. She sat back upstraightened, bag in hand, only to come face to face with the boy she had just relished at the feel of in her mind. Her breath hitched and she held it in anticipation. She wasn't sure what to expect from him, especially since he was looking at her like she was something he wanted to devour. Their eyes locked and she lifted her eyebrows in question.

After what seemed like only a minute, or an eternity, she wasn't quite sure, he broke eye contact and looked down, slightly smiling to himself as he shook his head. When he looked back up at her though, the shy smile was gone. and replaced by his jackass smirk, . his His eyes sparkedalive with something, something that she couldn't name, but scared her anyway, like he knew what was in her head, and he wasn't afraid to use it against her. what looked like **power** , (*I cant think of a word for this! Its like, he just realized that her weakness really IS him and its ironic and now he KNOWS and he wants her to know that he has this now, and he will exploit it if it makes her realize that its HIM that she should be with and not Donut. Does that make sense? I cant think of the word!**) He Bbacked ing out of the his seat, not breaking their gaze this time, he then slung his backpack over his shoulder and as he straighten up to standstood.

"That must have been some song you were listening too. If I'm not mistakenIt might be my imagination, but I'd say you almost look a little turned on. Someone has quite the taste in music."

She stayed silent, not sure she could respond even if she wanted to, and Ttheir eyes remained locked for a split second more, before he huffed quietly and shook his head. He gave her a mock salute and pivoted on his heels towards the exit as she stared after him, now standing up in the seat. She reluctantly dragged herself into the aisle and trudged after him, her earlier mood effectively ruined. As she reached the top of the stairs, she stopped short when she sawat the sight of him at the bottom, leaning against the doorframe.

"Challenge accepted," he'd said at the start of this trip, and it was undeniable that Knowing something was definitely changing between them. , challenge accepted or not, s She waited until he looked up at her, feeling his eyes boring into her, all the way to her soul. This time, when he smiled at her, it was definitely not innocent, or endearing, or shy, or even a little jackass. No, this smile she recognized immediately, as she had just experienced it in her mind _–_ \- just before being pushed back onto his couch, and she couldn't stop herself from relishing in the feeling that began to pool in her core in anticipation of his parting shot as she came level with him. They were face to face at this point, barely any space between them as she remained atop the bottom step, his arms leant resting against each side of the door, effectively pinning her to her spot. That old familiar feeling of electricity sparked and snapped between them as he leaned in slightly, enough that she could feel his warm breath on her face as he spoke.

"You know, _babe_ , one could even say your taste in music is stellar."

 _Challenge excepted, Logan? If this is just a game to you, you can bet your ass I'm playing too,_ _**babe**_.

"Oh, is it? How about sexy? Sinful, perhaps?"

Not expecting that response, he leaned back slightly, intently studying her face. Apparently She didn't know what he thought he saw there, but it appeared that he wasn't not happy with whatever he thought he saw, because his eyes narrowed at her.

"Yeah, maybe. Too bad you aren't with someone who appreciates that." ," He he spat as he pushed himself off the doorframe, turned, and walked away.

Veronica watched him for a moment, that the warm feelings effectively cooled in a metaphorical ice bath, and she worried that she' had pushed him too far. Sighing, she stepped down off the bus and began the trek to the stadium, following a safe distance behind him untilwhen she saw him stop. He turned slightly to look over his shoulder, apparently looking for something, when his eyes caughtcatching her eyes. That sexy smirk was back, his one eyebrow raised,lifted and he nodded up at her and winked before he turned back around and continued on walkingtoward the stadium. That The warm feeling immediately reignited inside her, this time reaching burning levels as she attempted to suppress a smile by smashing pressing her lips together firmly. She threw her head back and shook it, quietly laughing at the sky. She knew in that instant she wasn't going to last be able to hold out against him, and she relished in it.

 _Oh man. I am so dead._

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 ** _A/N - As always, thanks to Irma66 for her constant encouragement and mad skillz!_**


	3. Good Grief

**A/N - Please remember, this is a LoVe story!**

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Chapter 3 — Good Grief

As soon as Veronica entered the spacious Owner's Box, Duncan had grabbed her hand and reality came crashing back down around her. She chided herself, knowing she'd been so preoccupied with inappropriate thoughts of Logan and their ongoing push and pull, that she'd pretty much forgotten she'd started this trip with her _boyfriend_ by her side. She allowed herself one last quick look in Logan's direction. He'd set up camp across the room, leaning in that way that he did against the wall while attempting to make Meg Manning laugh.

 _Meg. The only pre-Lily friend who didn't completely shun me last year. I really wish she'd talk to me...and since when ...when did Logan and Meg get so...chummy?_

"Come on babe, let's go sit in the front. Woody Goodman is supposed to speak first and I want to make sure I can catch him before he leaves. My dad says he would be a good man to have in my corner."

Veronica pulled her gaze away from the two new friends ( _really?_ ) and back to Duncan. He was smiling down at her expectantly, obviously waiting for her to respond to what he'd just said. Caught once again not paying him the attention she should have, she returned the smile and nodded in agreement, trying to hide her actual lack of enthusiasm as she gestured with her hand for him to lead the way.

—

Twenty minutes later, after an introduction to future MLB Hall of Famer Terrence Cook, ( _Dad is gonna be so jealous),_ and a shameless and God-will-it-never-end plug of Woody Goodman's spectacular idea to isolate the 09ers even more, it was finally time to eat.

Veronica was perusing the buffet when Duncan nudged her with his elbow.

"Dick just told me his Dad is sending a limo out to pick us up so we don't have to get back on bus. He said Beaver just came back from it and it smells even worse now. So, how 'bout it? Feel like riding in style back to school?" He smiled down at her as he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and squeezed.

She glanced around the room, her eyes landing on Dick, trailed by Woody Goodman's daughter, Gia, who was currently talking to Logan and Meg (What are... _why are they so close together? They're not...no. NO. Just no. He wouldn't. SHE would NEVER. Stop it, Veronica_ ). Dick's exaggerated hand gestures mimicking something foul smelling made it clear that he was extending the offer of the limo to both of them as well.

 _Well that's a recipe for disaster if there ever was one. Me; my ex; his best friend, who's now my boyfriend; and his ex, who's now my ...ex-friend…I guess? Ugh. What a mess._

She watched Logan nod in agreement and turn to look at Meg. Without warning, Meg's gaze turned toward Veronica, followed by that of the boys. Meg's lips moved and, from the look of disappointment on her face, Veronica realized she was about to decline the offer, not wanting to be in the same space as her. She watched as Meg turned back towards the boys, shaking her head and looking down.

Hurt, regret, and an unexpected burst of jealousy grew in the pit of her stomach as she saw Logan put his arm around Meg in comfort, while looking at her in complete understanding and empathy.

"I don't think so, Duncan, " Veronica said, shaking her head, her eyes never leaving the pair. "I'm going to try and talk to Meg. She HATES me and I really need to fix it. I just can't let it go anymore."

"What would talking to Meg do? She's just upset because our relationship didn't work out like she wanted it to, and now that she sees you and I really belong together, she's just more upset. Just let it go, babe."

Veronica turned back towards Duncan and gave him an incredulous look, anger igniting in her core.

"Uh...because she was my friend? Because she IS my friend! Because she was the only 09er who openly acknowledged me from day one of 'Project Shit on Veronica'! She may not have gone against anyone for me, but she was there for me when it counted, and that's more than I can say for most people...you included!"

She could hear her voice rising as she continued to speak, and from the looks they were getting, it was loud enough for others to hear. Duncan was clearly recognizing that also; he was glancing around and was obviously uncomfortable, but she couldn't have cared less. She was suddenly finding Duncan's complete dismissal of Meg and her feelings to be unpleasantly familiar.

 _How can he just write someone off who was important to him like this? I didn't do that with him. And I can't with Logan either._

She took a deep breath and started again. "Look, I don't know what happened with you guys, but the point is, it was between the two of you. Not me. So there is no reason why I can't talk to her, or want to try to still be her friend. Oh, and by the way? I don't _belong_ to anyone, OK? Not you, not anyone, just to me. So I'll repeat this one more time, just for you, _babe_. I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. RIDE. IN. THE. LIMO. WITH. YOU. Got it?"

She glared at her boyfriend, her fists clenching. She knew she was overreacting, but it irritated her that Duncan could be so willfully oblivious to everyone and everything around him. Her anger grew as he stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights, then blinked twice and looked away from her.

"Hey look! Terrence is back! Let's go see if he'll talk to us!"

Shocked, Veronica felt her jaw drop as she watched Duncan scamper off towards Terrence Cook like an escaping dog with his tail tucked between its legs. Not only did he change the subject and run away from her like the coward she was beginning to realize he was, but it appeared that he'd outright ignored everything she just said, as if she hadn't even spoken at all!

 _Fucking Donut!_

"Oh sure... It's not like I was talking to you or anything! You know what they say! Easy to Ignore Veronica Mars! That's me!" she grumbled to herself.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Logan looking at her with that same stupid smirk plastered on his pretty-fucking-face.

She rolled her eyes as she silently groaned. Damn Duncan made her lose her appetite, so she turned her focus back towards Meg, who was now standing alone at the other end of the buffet. This probably wasn't the best time to approach her—being royally pissed at her boyfriend after all—but she decided that she needed to talk to her sooner rather than later anyhow. Knowing how sensitive Meg was towards her, she knew she would need to tread lightly. She closed her eyes, giving herself a moment to shake off the anger Duncan had caused, then moved toward Meg, who was facing away from her.

"Meg, hey. Got a minute or two you could spare? I'd really like it if we could talk."

Meg jerked upright, her whole body stiffening.

"I don't really have much to say to you, Veronica."

 _And people wonder why I'm happier as a misanthrope..._

Meg's voice was bitter, but the hurt and sadness underneath was enough for Veronica to notice. Taking a deep breath, Veronica readied herself for more rejection as she tried again.

 _Please don't let anyone be listening._

"Meg, I know you're upset with me, and I'm sorry that you feel that way...You've always been my friend and I really don't want a guy to come between us and ruin that. I know—"

Meg pivoted on her heel and faced her, her eyes full of hurt and her brow furrowed in anger and confusion.

"Maybe you should've thought about that before you agreed to go out with him!" she snapped. Veronica recoiled at the venom laced in her words

" Maybe you should've been my friend _then_ and come to me about Duncan, asked me if it was OK—if _I_ was OK with it—like I did for you!"

Surprised by Meg's aggressive response, Veronica took a quick moment to observe her; for the first time since Logan's impromptu fake birthday party, Veronica really _looked_ at Meg. Considering she ran away every time Veronica came within 50 feet of her, she hadn't noticed Meg's oval shaped face become a little rounder. Her hair was longer and thicker, and she looked a little sunkissed, almost...glowy, which wasn't too surprising considering where they lived—but this was...different. Feeling a slight sense of _déjà vu_ , she shook herself out of her thoughts, uneasy about the sudden sense of recognition she'd had. She couldn't place it, but she was pretty sure something about the way Meg looked was familiar. Veronica could see that she was getting worked up—closer to overreacting than she'd seen from Meg in a long time. Attempting to calm her before things got out of hand, she raised her hands, palms out before she spoke.

"Meg, I'm sorry! I—"

"Too little, too late, Veronica...Look, I get it. It's Duncan. You guys have history and it's bigger than me."

Veronica's eyebrows shot up as she looked at her incredulously.

"What does that have to do—?"

Rolling her eyes, Meg continued talking, ignoring the interruption, a single tear falling down her delicate face. She crossed her arms awkwardly in front of her chest, angrily wiping it away.

"'First love is true love', right, Veronica?" Her voice was sarcastic, with a message that sounded annoyingly similar to what Veronica had been telling herself since getting back together with Duncan. "I know I used to believe that too," she added. She lowered her arm, brushing her hand swiftly across her stomach before switching the plate she was still holding to her other hand. "Not that it'll matter in a few months," she mumbled to herself while looking to the side.

Suddenly seeming to realize that Veronica was standing close enough to hear her, Meg's gaze focused quickly back to Veronica, her eyes going wide. The look that flashed across her face was part horror and part guilt. Alarm bells immediately sounded in Veronica's head.

 _SECRET. SECRET. SECRET. SECRET._

Meg averted her eyes again, setting the plate she held down on the table. She took a deep breath and lifted her head again to look at Veronica.

"I have to go."

She turned and strode quickly toward the bathroom. Once again, Veronica found herself left standing alone mid-conversation, completely baffled, only this time, she was itching to find out what Meg might be hiding. Before she'd had time to take a breath though, the energy around her shifted and she knew he was there—she didn't even need to turn around.

She readied herself for the presumably unpleasant conversation she was about to have. Logan was nothing if not loyal; if he cared about you, you were under his protection. Considering the interaction between Meg and Logan she'd observed earlier, she could only assume Meg now fell under this esteemed privilege. She still didn't understand when and where Meg and Logan had become closer than lunch buddies, but she couldn't deny the one thing they absolutely had in common was their loathing of her new relationship..

 _What better way to bond than hating on the same people together? Good times, good times._

"Gee, Veronica. You sure know how to win them over, dont'cha?" Logan quipped.

She turned to face him, and smirked. Now _this_ was a conversation she could have in her sleep.

"Like you could do any better?"

Logan looked down at her mischievously, brow arched. "Baby, I never leave anyone unsatisfied. Conversation...or otherwise." His voice was deep and husky, causing a shiver to run down her back, but she rolled her eyes and shook her head, trying to cover her reaction.

"You know, I was just trying to get her to talk to me. She kind of surprised me there though; I didn't realize she had sarcasm like that in her," she said. Grinning at the thought passing through her head, she tilted her head slightly and looked up at Logan, attempting to sound serious. "You have done well, Master Jedi."

He frowned at her, his eyebrows drawing down in what looked like disapproval. "She's not a case you can solve you know, Veronica. She has every right to be upset, and a right to not care what _you_ want. She isn't obligated to give you any of her time, or her reasons—no matter how hard you try and force her to." He may have been all sex appeal a moment ago, but now she felt like she was being scolded. "Look, Meg has a shit ton going on with her right now. The last thing she needs is you sticking your nose in her business. She's made it pretty clear she doesn't want you to know."

The green monster growled in her gut, listening to Logan defend Meg so fiercely.

"Oh, I see. And I suppose she classifies YOU as someone who needs to know?"

Unhappy with the direction this conversation was going, she dropped the playful act, straightening her head upright. She jutted her chin out and crossed her arms in front, bracing herself for battle. Expecting Logan to mimic her fighting stance, she was surprised when his eyes squinted, eyebrows slightly raised, looking smugly at her.

"Yes, actually, it seems she does." He lowered his voice. "Did you ever think, Veronica...that maybe her problem isn't actually with something _you_ did?" 'Isn't it obvious?' was laced throughout his words.

"I mean, I know it has to do with my being with Duncan again...but it's not like they were engaged or anything like that. They only dated for a couple of months and he broke up with her long before he and I started to date again, so I didn't make him cheat or something. She won't even look me in the eye or come anywhere near me now, and whenever I'd see her at the end of summer break, or this last week at school, she immediately goes in the other direction to avoid me—so there's gotta be something else here...something I've done," she snapped, feeling justified in her conclusions.

Logan continued to look at her with his eyebrows raised, lips pressed into a thin line, shaking his head at what she was saying.

"When have _you_ really been alone since school let out? You were always with me until shortly before your birthday, and then two weeks later you were with...anyway, I don't ever recall seeing Meg when we were out, and when you were out after that, _you_ were never alone," he countered.

"How would you know if I was alone or not? After…?" Suddenly, she really didn't want to know the answer to that.

"After…?" His voice was bitter. "Oh, you mean after your Dad threw me out and you decided I didn't measure up to whatever your standard of 'normal' was?"

 _Totally walked into that one...Echolls: 1, Mars: 0_

"Let's just say that I like to consider myself a keen observer of the human condition," he said with a smirk when she didn't respond.

She huffed in irritation and rolled her eyes. What he was implying—no matter how much she tried to deny it—was that Duncan really was the reason Meg was avoiding her, and if she really wanted things to change with Meg, the first step would be to face that head on. She let out a long sigh.

"I just want my friend back. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong here, and I don't think it's fair to be punished for who I decide to date."

She watched as Meg emerged from the bathroom, heading straight for Ms. Dumas. Veronica shook her head and turned back to look up at Logan with regret.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this."

They stared at each other for a moment, the unintended double meaning passing between them. Logan's eyes were filled with such intense emotion that Veronica had to look down to break the connection. An overwhelming vice grip clenched her heart, causing her to suck in a stuttered breath. She was feeling utterly vulnerable and exposed—he was the only person to ever bring forth that kind of emotion within her.

She began to turn away when Logan chucked his finger under her chin, causing her to look back up at him. This time she saw a look she recognized immediately—and she knew what was coming next.

"Veronica…"

Just the way he said her name made her heart beat double time, but it was too much, too soon. She knew she wasn't over what had happened between them, all the flirting in the bus made that clear. She knew she was still scared of him breaking her heart again, because he could if she wasn't careful, even if he didn't mean to. The game they'd been playing all day, while exciting and full of temptation, was still just a game, and she still wasn't sure what it all meant, or what she really wanted. All she really knew for sure was that Duncan was still her boyfriend and she would never be unfaithful. She would never be her mother.

But this was _Logan_ , and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't completely let him go. She hadn't been able to stand by and watch him unravel and destroy himself with his stupid vendetta against Weevil and the PCHers. It'd hurt too damn much, going to bed every night not knowing if she'd be getting a call from _him_ in the morning or from the coroner asking her to come down and ID his body. She had pleaded with him to stop, if not for himself, then for her, for THEM—to try and just be normal and let it go and just BE with her...but when he wouldn't stop—she knew she couldn't do it anymore, she was just...done. It was clear that she wasn't enough of a reason for him to change his ways—and that was that. And she would never let him see how much that'd hurt, or how hard it had been for her to let him go, or how she missed him every minute of every hour of every goddamn day.

 _Duncan is my boyfriend. Safe, normal, mature, boring as hell—_

"Duncan…"

He caught her chin lightly with his thumb and index finger as hurt and confusion flashed across his face, then were replaced by his mask of nonchalance. He gave her a quick nod, and a tight smile.

"Veronica, until you lose those rose colored glasses and see Duncan through the eyes you used all last year—the same ones that saw past all the bullshit and lies and fakeness in search of the truth—then Meg isn't going to give you the time of day. And really, she shouldn't. But for the record? This whole thing between you and her...it really isn't about you. OK?"

She frowned, not liking his response _._ At that moment though, she realized the position they were still standing in—his hand still against her face—and she was surprised she didn't feel the urge to pull away anymore.

"Veronica! There you are! I've been looking all over, babe! I want to introduce you to Terrence Cook!" Duncan bellowed, as he approached from behind.

The moment lost, Logan was the first to break away, his eyes shifting towards Duncan then back to Veronica. He dropped his hand, moving it to the back of his neck as his free arm wrapped around his middle. She thought she saw a flash of guilt across his face, but he quickly composed himself. Duncan arrived with Terrence Cook in tow and threw his arm around Veronica's shoulders, pulling her tightly against him and kissing her temple. Veronica grimaced, unable to look Logan in the eye anymore.

 _Well, this isn't awkward at all...nope._

"Aaand that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we in the biz like to call—my cue!" Logan quipped. "Terrence Cook, a pleasure." He turned towards Terrence and bowed exaggeratedly. Moving on to Duncan, he gave him a mock salute. "Donut."

Veronica knew he was looking at her now, and reluctantly looked up. He gave her a knowing look and smiled, tipping his imaginary top hat towards her as he bowed again.

"Ms Mars. The honor, as always, is mine. Until we meet again."

Straightening, he winked at her, and then he was gone.

Feeling a sense of loss from his departure, she watched him walk away for a second before turning to glare at the boy who currently had her locked in a deathgrip. Irked by Duncan's unwelcome display of possessiveness, she shrugged out from under his arm and focused her attention on Terrence.

"Mr Cook, I can't tell you how excited I am to meet you! My Dad—"

"Her Dad is an uber fan, Terrence! No joke" Duncan interrupted. Veronica looked at him quizzically, unsure why he did that, but continued on anyway.

"Right, like Duncan said—big fan! In fact, he keeps your rook—"

"He keeps your rookie card vacuum sealed in a safe!"

Terrence gave the oblivious Duncan a bemused look, as Veronica wished she had the new staple gun from the journalism room to seal his mouth shut.

"So tell me, Veronica, have you had the chance to see a game here yet?"

Clearly understanding her frustration, Veronica was thankful for his rescue, before she did something she probably would regret.

"Once, yes, towards the end of last season. My Dad was given a couple tickets from a client as a thank you and he let me tag along. They were up in the nosebleeds, but we still had fun."

He shook his head and smiled.

"Perhaps he would enjoy watching a game from my box? Find out if he's free for the next home game and I'll add the Mars family to the list."

Stunned into silence by his generosity, Veronica could only nod in response. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide—she couldn't wait to tell her Dad.

"That might be a hard sell, Terrence. Mr Mars is a die hard Padres fan—I'm pretty sure he wouldn't settle for anything less than the _actual_ team or something."

Veronica looked at Duncan as if he had grown a third head. How could he be so dense? She was beginning to doubt her own convictions, agreeing to date him again. She was beyond frustrated with him—and right now, any kind of interaction with Duncan was becoming less and less appealing.

"You know what, Mr Cook? That sounds amazing. Thank you for the offer, I will make sure to tell my Dad as soon as I see him. But right now, I need to go. Thank you for spending the day with us. I had a _really_ _great_ time," she gushed.

As she turned to leave, Duncan grabbed her wrist and pulled her to a stop. She looked down at his hand and back up at him, blood boiling at his manhandling.

"Jeez, Veronica. What's with you today? Can't you just relax and enjoy this for a little bit? For me?" he whispered harshly.

Veronica yanked her arm from his hand, sneering up at him.

"What's wrong? You know, I'm not sure which is worse—having a boyfriend who has been irritating me every time he's opened his mouth today, or that said boyfriend has taken this long to notice something might actually be wrong." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I gotta tell ya, Dunc—it's a conundrum!"

"Veronica—" he began, but she was too angry to listen.

"You know what? Just leave me alone, OK? Maybe call me when your head's out of your ass and you can actually notice other people's feelings BEFORE it's too late." With a final glare, she whirled out of his reach and stomped away.

—

So, now she sat alone, sulking in the seat farthest from the action at the buffet table. All she felt was exhausted. Too much had happened, and she wasn't sure what to do about any of it. She was grateful for the momentary reprieve, before the next shoe inevitably dropped.

And drop it did, as Veronica jumped at the voice that spoke from behind her.

"You aren't guys aren't as subtle as you think you are, you know…"

She turned around to face the last person she would have expected to approach her. Seated in the chair behind and to her left, Meg was staring out onto the field—arms crossed in front of her chest, feet resting on the back of the chair in front of her.

"Uh...what?"

Meg gave her a pointed look, her expression insinuating. "Come on now, don't bullshit me". A bit miffed at her unnatural abrasiveness, Veronica's arms rose to mirror Meg's, the defensiveness she could never shake flaring up.

"If you're referring to my relationship, that's actually none of your business."

She quickly turned back around in her chair, willing her annoyance away. Meg was finally opening up, and she couldn't blow it if she was going to learn what secret Meg was keeping.

"At least Logan's made it clear what he wants. Everyone can see it...I _know_ you do."

Veronica scoffed and shook her head. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew Meg had a point.

"Meg, you have no idea what you're talking about." _OK, that's a lie._

"Actually, _V_ , I'm pretty sure I do."

 _Apparently not a good one._

"Look, he's my friend too, and what you're doing to him really isn't fair. You broke up with him, and got back what you really wanted, right? You're back _in_. Prince Charming to the rescue once again, swooping in and saving his poor 'Princess Veronica' from the depths of the 02er cesspool and the Big Bad Wolf himself."

"OK, first of all? I didn't need any rescuing, thank you very much. Second—If anyone here deserves the title of 'Princess', that would be you, Snow White. Little birds, remember? Braiding your hair while you whistled and worked on your cheer routine?"

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly at her reference to their conversation last year, but dropped when she realized who she was speaking to. It was tough to not forget how some people had been affected by the Purity Test. Meg, in particular, had waded through 09er hell, but she'd emerged victorious at the other end, with Duncan pulling her out and giving her a place next to him. ( _ahem, can we say—damsel?_ ) Pulling herself back into the moment, she stood up and turned to look at Meg, who seemed to have deflated in her anger.

"Please, just tell me what's going on Meg. A little … snarky pigeon...may have helped me realize this is bigger than just an issue with me, and I'd like to try and help." She sighed, trying to find the words to make Meg listen. "Look, no matter what you may think, I still consider you my friend, and I'm here...you know, if you want to talk...or whatever."

"Attention!" Dick's voice boomed out across the room. "All you motha' fuckers privileged enough to score an invite to rides- _conmigo_ -on-the-Dickster—we're ready to roll out! So ladies, get your fine asses outside and line up in front of the Dick-Mobile for final inspection! OUCH! Hey—watch it!" Veronica snickered as Dick rubbed the back of his head where Logan had smacked him as he passed by. A chorus of "Shut up Dick's" rang out as the 09ers shuffled out the door towards the limo.

"Ahh, Dick. Always tasteful." Veronica gave Meg a smile. "At least there's never a dull moment with him around."

Meg harrumphed, then stood, smoothing down her shirt, her hand lingering on her stomach area. She looked as though she was contemplating something, but ultimately shook her head, and looked past Veronica towards the bathrooms.

"I appreciate you saying that, Veronica, about you and me, not Dick, and I wish it were that simple. Maybe…"

"Maybe…what?"

"Look, I've just got stuff going on, and I don't even know if I'm going to be around here much longer."

"What?" Veronica interrupted but Meg ignored her.

"It's just...personal, that's all, and there's nothing you can do to help me. And I understand that my issues aren't really with you, and I'm not being fair. So, I'm sorry. OK? Can we just leave it at that? It's really nothing you want to hear about."

Meg cut herself off deliberately, as the same look she had earlier—as if she was close to revealing something—crossed her face before she hid it behind a blank look.

"I have to use the restroom before the bus leaves," she said quickly, as she rushed past Veronica.

Watching her walk away, Veronica had that nagging feeling of _déjà vu_ again. Her eyes met Meg's as she reached the bathroom door and glanced back. Meg gave a weak smile, her hand rubbing against her torso, then she disappeared into the bathroom. Still staring after her, Veronica's eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out what seemed familiar.

 _Huh. What I am seeing? I just don't...hang on. Sara. That's it. Sara used to rub her stomach like that, when she was...Oh my God. It can't be. Could Meg be...No. No freaking way!_

She replayed all their interactions from the day, from school before they'd left earlier, over the summer—Meg's clothes, her multiple trips to the bathroom, her unwillingness to be around Veronica, around DUNCAN. Veronica gasped as her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

 _OH MY GOD…is Meg PREGNANT?!_

She didn't understand. How in the hell was it possible? She knew for a fact that Meg had never slept with Cole—he made sure to put her on blast over it last year when he believed her Purity Test scores. The only other person Veronica knew she'd seriously dated was—

 _No. NO. No no no no…._

"MEG! WAIT!"

That old familiar wave of nausea, rage and utter terror filled her chest, as Veronica grabbed her messenger bag off the floor and rushed after Meg. She ignored Ms. Dumas who was rounding up the students for the departing bus, slamming through the bathroom door and almost running right into Meg, who was bent over the sink counter, softly crying to herself. Her sudden revelation would change everything if she was right; she needed to hear it directly from Meg immediately. As if approaching a nervous cat, she slowly crept up to the girl, placing her hand softly on her midback and lightly rubbing as she bent down next to her to speak.

"Meg…? A-are...are you…?"

She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud, but Meg sniffed and cried a little harder—finally nodding her head yes. Dreading what she had to confirm next, Veronica gripped the counter with her free hand, looking down at the sink.

"Is it Duncan's?" she said, her voice steady and detached. Still crying, Meg nodded again.

"Does he kn—"

"Yes. He knows." Meg straightened up and faced Veronica, wiping the tears from her eyes with a bitter laugh.

"He knows, and he asked me to not say anything to anyone, at least until it's too obvious to hide anymore, " she said. She shook her head and huffed in irritation.

"When he initially said that, I thought he was just trying to protect me. You know how religious my parents are, and they'd disown me if they found out. And us being 17 and still in high school doesn't exactly make us look very good...either of us. "

"That's no excuse. Leaving you to do this by yourself? Why would he—"

"For you?"

Veronica blinked. Unprepared for that response, as well as the sudden, overwhelming amount of guilt that came with it, all she could do what stand there frozen. In the back of her head, she could faintly hear Logan's voice saying 'I told you so' over and over again.

"I know you didn't know."

Unsure how to respond, she continued to stare in silence.

"If you had known, you would've—"

"I never would've gone out with Duncan," she growled, finding her voice again. "I would've told him to man up and take responsibility, instead of sticking his head in the sand pretending it didn't happen. I would've told him to support you in every way and do whatever was necessary to make sure you were taken care of. And I can promise you, I will tell him ALL of this the second I see him."

Meg was still looking at her, now appearing apprehensive and wary. Veronica knew Meg had doubts, but she intended to make sure she trusted her word.

"Meg, he knew exactly what he was doing while he sat there at my work—even when I was still with Logan. And he knew exactly why getting you to talk to me would end badly for him. And now? Now we're going to make him pay."

"Veronica…"

"No, Meg. The hero is the one that stays, the villain is the one that splits. He's made his choice, by abandoning you when you needed him most. He HAS to pay. And I promise you, he will."

Meg's eyes searched Veronica's face for a moment, then, apparently satisfied with Veronica's resolve, she took her hand in her own and squeezed.

"Thanks Veronica. I-I really appreciate it. You're a good friend."

Veronica gave her a sad smile, squeezing back and tugging at her to follow.

"Come on, let's go before we miss the bus. Duncan's in the limo so you don't have to worry about him until we get back to school. And then, it's my turn to deal with him."

"Well, at least they haven't cleared away the buffet yet," Veronica said wryly, as the two girls stood in the now empty parking lot.

"I didn't think this day could get any worse…"

"It won't—I'll just call my Dad to come get us. I bet I can get us a trip to Amy's out of it too."

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she gave Meg a reassuring smile as she began to dial Keith.

"I can take you, if you need a ride."

Both girls whirled around to find Terrence standing behind them.

"I have to meet with the Vice Principal about my daughter—she's transferring in next week. If you need a ride back to the school, I'd be happy to take you."

Meg looked at Veronica, eyebrows raised questioningly, but Veronica didn't see any reason why they shouldn't take advantage of the offer. After the day they'd both had, getting a ride home in style could be just what they needed.

"That'd be great, thanks."

Terrence smiled at them both as he pointed to the Mercedes-Benz C55 AMG across the lot.

"Shall we?"

Both girls' faces lit up with eager smiles.

As they cruised down the PCH, along the long stretch of coastline that hugged the jagged cliffs, Veronica noticed a small cloud of black smoke about half a mile ahead.

"Hey—do you guys see that?"

Meg leaned forward between the front seats, parallel to Veronica to better see as they rounded the corner.

"Yeah, what is it? Is there a fire?" she asked.

"I don't think so, the plume isn't large enough. Maybe a car burnout or—"

"Oh my God…" Terrence interjected.

Both girls adjusted in their seats to see what Terrance was looking at. They could see the limo ahead—parked askew across both lanes of the highway, both back doors open. Terrence slowed to a stop, and all three passengers jumped out. The group from the limo was huddled near the edge of the cliff, next to a gaping hole that looked as though it had been blown straight through the guardrail. They could hear quiet sobs from Ashley and Kimmy, who were both turned into Dick and Duncan's shoulders.

"It just went straight off the cliff! It didn't even slow down. They're all dead!" Gia cried out, as Meg ran towards her to offer comfort.

Veronica did a quick scan of the crowd before turning towards the cliff. She'd seen all the 09ers standing there, and did a quick recount of the people who'd been in the limo.

 _Dick, Duncan, Gia, Beaver, Ashley, Kimmy…_

She realized who was missing and spun around towards the group again, terror clenching at her heart as her eyes searched for him. He was supposed to have taken the limo...

 _Don't be on the bus. Don't be on the bus. PLEASE. Don't be on the bus!_

Her heart beating in overtime, she felt the mountain of sheer terror weigh down on her, freezing her body in place. All those nights of worrying about this exact moment, and now she wanted more than anything for it to not be true. She was becoming frantic, inhaling short silent breaths on the verge of hyperventilation, when she felt a gentle hand rest on her shoulder. Meg stood in front of her now—giving her the most knowing, sympathetic smile she'd ever seen—and nodded her head towards the cliff. A tiny flicker of hope sprung to life in the center of her heart, as Veronica turned slowly around.

Further down the road, alone and partially hidden by the curve in the mountain, she saw his profile—shoulders slumped, staring down over the edge of the exposed cliff where he stood. He took a long, deep shuddering breath in. Veronica watched as his legs gave out from under him and he slumped down to his knees, his eyes never leaving the ocean cove below.

 _LOGAN._

* * *

 **A/N - make sure to check out the amazing cover art created by Alina Sorokina over on A03. It's great!**

/works/15325782


	4. In My Head, In My Heart, In My Soul

**A/N - This chapter was a hard one. I really hope I did Logan justice, writing from his POV. Without Irma66's guidance, this would have been complete mush. Irma, you are the absolute best. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 4 - In My Head, In My Heart, In My Soul

"Oomph…"

A boney shoulder jabbed into Logan's as they rounded the corner. When envisioning a 'Logan Sandwich', the fantasy looked nothing like the reality in which Logan currently found himself — smooshed between Dick and Beaver in the back of their hired stretch limo, unable to breathe without choking on the way-too-peppy Gia's ridiculous perfume. _Where are the Olsen Twins when you need them? Way to ruin the dream, guys._ Glancing around at his companions, he was reminded why he had retreated into his head in the first place.

Logan's gaze fell on Duncan and Enbom, who were deeply engrossed in some kind of techno-babble bullshit he couldn't care less about. For someone who'd just been given a public evisceration by his spitfire of a girlfriend, Duncan seem completely unfazed by it—or by her choice to ride in a smelly bus rather than with him. Logan thought that probably wasn't all that surprising, considering what a zombie he'd been last year, ignoring all the negative things swirling around him, but still...Logan couldn't imagine anyone _not_ being affected by Veronica Mars in some way. He, probably more than anyone, understood that. _How much easier would my life be if I was indifferent to her?_

But of course he wasn't, and he was slowly resigning himself to the fact that he probably never would be, never _could_ be. All of their interactions today had been exactly what he'd been hoping for when he'd changed his plans and gotten on the bus. He'd known she'd been watching him walk away earlier—as soon as he'd seen that look in her eyes, there was no turning back for him. He'd take any opportunity he could to be close to her again, to interact with her again, especially when she would reciprocate. Their banter back and forth had been more than he could've asked for, but he'd admittedly let it go farther than either of them were ready for. Kissing her again would have been euphoric, but he wouldn't cross that line. For all his faults, loyalty was still everything to him. He would never do that to Duncan, no matter how mad at him he was, and he would definitely _never_ do that to Veronica. Her beliefs in monogamy were irrevocable; Logan refused to be the one to tarnish that.

He rolled his neck and was settling back into his seat, when the limo took a tight turn and everyone shifted. Beaver, the little runt boy he was, practically flew out of his spot and straight into Logan's side, forcing a grunt out of him at the impact.

"Dude, get off me," Logan scolded as he pushed Beaver back. "This jacket is worth more than your entire outfit." _Not to mention, it's the last thing my Mother bought me, but no way in hell am I bringing that up._ Sitting upright again, Beaver gave him an odd look, quickly shoving something into his pocket as he nodded in response.

Logan shook his head, _God, what a lameass_ , and turned away to face Dick, when, out of nowhere, he heard the distinct sound of screeching tires, followed by a loud crash. The limo swerved into a fishtail, coming to a sudden halt as everyone inside shifted and tumbled into each other.

"What the fuck was that?" Dick boomed, as Logan stretched down to help Gia back up.

Duncan was pulling Enbom back onto the seat as he looked up towards the window. "No idea, man. It almost sounded like a—"

"Oh my _GAWD,_ you guys!" Ashley squealed out, panic in her voice. "Look!"

She pointed toward the bus they'd been following, bound for Neptune High. It was now teetering on the edge of the cliff, most of it broken through the guardrail and looming above the ocean cove below. The limo occupants fell silent, all eyes now locked on the terrible sight. The skylight in the roof had been open since departure, and through it, Logan faintly heard screams from the students trapped inside, frantic cries of terror as the bus started to shift forward.

"Holy Fuck!"

"Oh my God.."

"Dick, _do_ something!"

"What the hell do we do?!"

"My name is Duncan Kane, I need to report an emergency! Yeah, Pacific Coast Highway just south of Del Mar.."

"Dude, Logan…! Wasn't Ronnie on that—"

"NO!"

 _Veronica..._

Logan threw himself across Beaver, trying to get to the door. He _had_ to get Veronica off that bus. He had to _save_ her. He was pushing his way through his panicked friends when a loud crack rang out, and he froze, eyes pinned on the horrifying scene he could see through the window. The last barrier holding the bus on the cliff had snapped, and the metal seemed to moan as the weight of the bus tipped it slowly forward. He could swear that time stood still as he stared, unable to move, and he felt his brain hollow out as the bus vanished over the edge.

The disappearance of the bus broke his stupor, and he shoved through the crowd to the door, throwing it open and bursting out. He heard the others following him as he rushed toward the edge of the cliff and peered over the side, watching the bus slip into the angry ocean below. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duncan come up beside him, looking down at the terrible sight. More students clustered around them, all deathly silent, as they listened to the roar of the bus being inhaled by the rough sea echoing up from the cove.

 _...You can't leave me...You promised, Veronica. You promised..._

* **FLASHBACK***

 _Logan closed the door behind Veronica as she stepped out of the limo. The massive crowd of paparazzi he'd just waded through outside the courthouse was unlike anything he'd experienced before on the red carpet. When it was "Aaron Echolls and Family", the questions thrown out were almost always about Aaron. Logan's only job had been to show up sober and look pretty, smile and laugh on cue, and make sure the focus stayed on his Dad. These guys were a different breed. It was post-Lilly all over again, only this time, their viciousness was directed towards him, instead of Sheriff Mars. Ironically, Veronica was on_ his _side this time, once again throwing herself into the throng unnecessarily. He was in awe of her even more now, still unsure of why she'd chosen him after everything._

" _Hey," Veronica said quietly, nudging him with her shoulder. "Let's go inside and see if there are any more cookies in the freezer." She gave him a small smile and motioned towards the door with her head._

God, I love you.

 _He knew it was probably way too soon, but he was never one to run away from his emotions. Every day, he was falling harder and harder; he only hoped she was feeling even a fraction of what he was. He wasn't willing to say it out loud yet, but it was a constant, on the tip of his tongue, waiting for the right moment._

" _I'm not sure if there's anything left. You ate your weight from the last batch we found." He attempted to smirk, but he knew he'd fallen short by the concerned look on her face._

" _Well, let's still go inside._ If _you're nice, maybe I'll make you some of_ my _cookies."_

" _Baby, I'll take your cookies any day." He knew his leer was probably as half-assed as his smirk, but he bobbed his eyebrows at her, hoping she'd get the point._

 _Rolling her eyes as she smiled, Veronica grabbed his hand and gently pulled him towards the house. He followed as she lead them to the kitchen, but changed their direction as he lightly tugged her hand and steered them towards the stairs to his room._

" _Logan? What's wrong? I thought we were gonna_ — _"_

" _I'm not really feeling it, Veronica." He'd stopped and turned to face her. He could feel himself grasping at the thin threads of his control, barely keeping himself in check. "I really just want to lie down; do you mind? It's been such a fucked up day."_

 _He watched as the magnitude of the situation they'd just left dawned across her face. Sure, all charges related to that Toombs' kid's death had been dropped; there was no doubt that he was a lucky son-of-a-bitch if there ever was one. But Logan and Veronica both knew_ — _this was a game changer. The paparazzi mob would be nothing compared to whatever the PCHers had in store. This was just the beginning of whatever was to come._

 _Veronica was looking up at him, expression full of concern and compassion and something more that he wasn't sure she even realized was there. She lifted her free hand and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb back and forth across it, giving him a small smile._

" _Whatever you need."_

 _Never breaking eye contact, Logan brought their joined hands up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, before turning to lead them up to his room._

 _He opened his door, and motioned her in ahead of him. She moved straight to his bed and climbed up to lean against the headboard, her hand outstretched to him in invitation._

" _C'mere," she whispered, patting the bed beside her. "Let's just veg for a bit, OK? I think we both need it."_

 _Logan crawled up and wrapped his long arms around her, pulling them both down to lay on the bed. He snuggled into her, his face buried into her neck, breathing in her scent...feeling the warmth and compassion she continued to give him, despite the royal fuck up he was. Ever since that night on the bridge, when he'd shown up on her doorstep and she let him in_ — _he'd never once doubted when she said she believed him. Veronica had been by his side throughout this entire murder disaster_ , _AKA another Echolls family shit show, and he hoped to God she wouldn't give up on him like everyone else in his life._

 _Veronica's fingers were running through his hair, her free arm wrapped tightly around his upper torso. He lifted his head to her face, brushing a few stray hairs behind her ear. His eyes roamed across her face, seeing in it everything he could ever want, whether he deserved it or not._

Please don't leave me...

" _Thank you, Veronica. I'm sorry I dragged you into my fucked up life, but I'm so glad you're still here with me."_

 _He gave her a sad smile, hoping that in his vulnerable state, he wouldn't scare her away with his mushy declarations._

 _Veronica smiled back at him, and he felt the crackle of energy between them. She cupped his cheek, caressing it with her thumb._

" _I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be."_

 _Lost in each other's eyes, a beat passed before she began to shake her head, her smile morphing into a smirk, breaking the heavy moment._

" _Don't worry, I would never throw you to the wolves and let them rip you to shreds. No one messes with my boyfriend!" She gave him a playful snarl and flexed a bicep, then pinched his cheek and snorted out a laugh. Logan rolled his eyes and nuzzled back into her neck._

" _Help me, Mars-Wan-Kenobi. You're my only hope!" he mumbled._

 _He felt her laughter rumbling in her chest as she squeezed him a little tighter._

" _Whatever, goober," she said with a giggle. "Besides, that's my job."_

" _What is? Ripping me to shreds?"_

" _I was thinking more of the messing with you part," Veronica said with a suggestive chuckle, trailing her hand along his back, but when he only sighed and pressed her to him a bit more, she tipped her head back and kissed his forehead. He knew what she meant, and ordinarily, messing around with her would be one of his favorite things, but,still feeling the weight of the day hanging over them, what he really needed was reassurance._

" _You're gonna be OK, Logan," she murmured._

" _Please don't leave me too, Veronica," he whispered. "Promise me you won't leave."_

 _Veronica shifted herself onto her side, facing him fully and hugging him fiercely._

" _You can't get rid of me that easily, Echolls. I'm here, even if it's just to annoy you." A moment passed, then, her hold never breaking, she turned her mouth to his ear and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, Lo. I promise."_

 _*_ **END FLASHBACK***

The silence broke as Kimmy let out a soft cry, reaching for Duncan, Ashley following suit with Dick. As the small group rallied together in support of their newly shared trauma, Logan slowly backed away, unable to handle being around anyone else. He headed towards the bend in the road, stopping at the cliff's edge just around the curve in the mountain.

Logan inched as close as he could to the edge—with no guardrail to stop him, he could see almost straight down the side of the cliff. His eyes searched the deep water below, looking for any sign of movement...air bubbles, tail lights, _anything_ to give him hope. He could hear the others' cries in the distance, but they were barely more than white noise. No one else mattered. No one else existed as far as he was concerned. The only person worth living for was currently at the bottom of the _fucking_ ocean, all because fucking _Duncan_ couldn't take the Goddamn hint earlier and wake the fuck up about his _girlfriend_...that she was on the verge of figuring out that he knocked up fucking _Meg Manning_ of all people. And he couldn't _wait_ until Veronica _did_ figure it out and reamed him a fucking new one when she—

 _Oh shit, no... VERONICA..._ FUCK _!_

His eyes never left the thrashing sea—something he once loved that he would now forever hate. He watched the waves crash against the jagged rocks, then he took a deep shuddering inhale as his legs gave out and he collapsed onto his knees.

 _You promised..._

After what felt like a lifetime, his gaze shifted to the horizon, his vision tunneling as the realization of what had just happened hit him like a Mack truck. His eyes fluttered closed, as he let himself imagine that by some miracle she wasn't on the bus, and she was going to just materialize next to him on the cliff...kind of like Lilly used to, only real.

 _She can't be gone. Veronica. You just….please God, no. I have…I am…you promised you wouldn't leave me!_

"Veronica! Oh my God, Veronica! Hey!"

 _Wait? What the …?_

"Babe! Veronica!"

Logan's eyes flew open, confused by what he was hearing. He'd know Duncan's voice anywhere – but Veronica? _It can't be…_

He turned his head towards Duncan's voice and there, barreling towards him, eyes locked on his, was Veronica. He barely had time to register her face—eyebrows furrowed, eyes on the verge of tears—before she was next to him. On his knees, their height difference put them at just about eye level. They stared at each other for a moment, then threw themselves together in a desperate embrace. Veronica's arms wrapped around his neck like a vice grip as she collapsed down into him while Logan secured his around her waist with the same fierceness, lifting her slightly to pull her as close as he could to his chest. _Veronica. You're here. You're real. Thank fucking God, Veronica! Veronica…_

"Veronica…"

He took a deep breath, nuzzling his face into her neck, relief flooding his chest. The feel of her pressed up against him—breathing, fucking _alive_ , here! Never in his life had he been religious, but at that moment he was silently thanking every deity known to man for this miracle. Veronica was here with him, unharmed, clinging as tightly to him as he was to her. Feeling her grip on his neck loosen, he straightened up on his knees, gently guiding her body with him, refusing to let go of her waist. He leaned forward slightly and pressed their foreheads together as Veronica's eyes moved quickly around his face.

"How did you...I thought...oh God, Veronica…" Logan whispered. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

"I-I thought I'd lost you.." she said, barely a whisper, but Logan heard it.

He opened his eyes and searched her face, thrilled to see what he'd only dared to hope would be there. It was that same look she'd given him all those months ago, when it was them against the world, just after the charges were dropped. For the first time since Mr. Mars had kicked him out of their apartment, he could feel the stirrings of hope. Out of this darkest moment, rivalled only by finding out for sure that his mom was dead, finally came reassurance that Veronica could still be his.

Despite that, he knew that now was not the time or place to act on any renewed feelings. Instead, he placed his hands gently on either side of her face and pulled her toward him, pressing a firm kiss to her forehead, hoping she would understand everything he was feeling in that moment, but couldn't express.

Leaning back from the kiss, he glanced over her shoulder and saw Duncan walking quickly towards them, somehow looking both pissed off and relieved at the same Donut didn't really concern him though, and he pulled his eyes back to Veronica. She was giving him a shy smile, which he gladly returned with one of his own.

"You thought you could get rid of me that easy, Mars?"

"I told you before, Echolls, I'm not going anywhere."

Logan gave her a goofy grin, dropping his hands from her face so he could wrap his arms around her again. He felt her reciprocate and squeeze him into another hug, as they both giggled awkwardly, maybe even a little hysterically, at the sheer magnitude of what they'd just been through. Beyond what had just happened, Logan realized that they'd both just publicly declared that they still had feelings for each other, which Logan knew would be a giant surprise to everyone, especially Duncan. _Speaking of…_

"Veroni—what are you doing? What the hell is this?"

Logan looked up at Duncan, now towering over them with a look that he probably thought was intimidating. Unfortunately for the Donut, his flaring nostrils and beet red face were anything but. Squeezing Veronica tightly one more time, Logan reluctantly relinquished his grip on her, although his fingers continued to rest lightly at her hips. He looked away from Duncan, back at her, and was surprised to see that the softness that had been there as they'd held each other had been replaced with something else.

Confused by her sudden change, he gave her a quizzical look. _"Are you OK?"_ Silent communication had always been something they'd been good at, so he understood that she wasn't, but he wasn't certain of the reason for the sudden stiffness of her body, and the fire that he watched ignite in her narrowed eyes.

"Isn't there someone more important who you should be checking on, Duncan?" Veronica said quietly through clenched teeth.

Logan's eyes widened as he suddenly understood her reaction to Duncan's presence. _She knows!_ He should probably have been worried on Duncan's behalf, but Logan had never agreed with his decisions regarding Meg, so as far as he was concerned, Golden Boy had it coming.

Duncan leaned toward her and grabbed at her arm which was still looped around Logan's neck, attempting to pull her away, but she wouldn't budge. Logan had never been so thankful for his excellent poker face than he was right this second. The laugh that wanted to escape would be in really poor taste right now.

"What are you talking about Veronica?" he huffed out, attempting to pry her away with a bit more force. When that got him nowhere, he looked up at Logan. "Dude! Could you let go of my _girlfriend_ , man? I just found out she's alive - I'd kind of like to _kiss_ her."

Logan scoffed and shook his head, ready to point out that he wasn't the one keeping Veronica from falling into Duncan's arms, but then Veronica did pull away from him and took a step back, turning toward Duncan. Logan was discouraged for a moment when she removed her arms from his neck, but when he noticed how stony her expression was as she turned toward Duncan, he recovered quickly, realizing what was about to happen. He rose to his feet, moving to stand behind her, hoping to imply a united front.

"I said, isn't there someone—actually _two_ someones you should have checked on first, _before_ you came and found me?"

"Veronica." Duncan grimaced, like she'd mentioned something unpleasant, and shook his head, trying again to grab her hand. Logan watched as she side stepped further out of Duncan's reach, and back into his own. "Don't be like that, Babe. It's just us. The way it's meant to be." He reached for her again. "What are you doing?"

Veronica stopped moving and looked at Duncan, her eyes cold.

"What about Meg?" she growled.

"What about Meg?"

Logan could only see the side of her face, but her wide-eyed incredulous look made him cringe. _Oooh. Wrong thing to say, DK._ Logan had been on the receiving end of that kind of look plenty of times and he was pretty sure that Duncan really didn't comprehend the verbal lashing he was about to receive. But how could he? Most things magically went his way with minimal unpleasantness.

Shaking her head, Veronica let out a tired sigh, crossing her arms in front of her.

"You know, Duncan," she said her voice now dangerously low. "I'm really trying to understand you here, give you the benefit of the doubt."

 _Wait, seriously, Veronica? Where's the riot act you'd be reading me right now?_

Logan's irritation at her always cutting Duncan more slack than she did him flared, but then immediately waned as he watched her look towards the edge of the cliff and take a long, shuddering breath. He'd always done the same with DK and honestly, he was feeling almost as let down as she probably was. He reached forward to gently rub between her shoulder blades and she glanced at him with a sad smile, then turned back to Duncan with a much more pointed look.

"Those people down there...they just di-, they're gone. And yes, I was supposed to be on that bus. But so was Meg. _Meg_ , Duncan. Thank God we weren't. But if we had been, if _she_ had been—I think we both know why that would be significant. "

Shock couldn't even describe the state Duncan was in at the moment. Embarrassment, arrogance and a furious blush all spread across his face. Logan huffed out a disgusted laugh. The two emotions that should have been there, guilt and shame, were nowhere to be found. _Typical Kane. They can do no wrong. Geez, DK._

"V-Veronica, it's not like that. You're both lucky. It's good she's safe too. I-I'm not—" Duncan's attempt to stammer out some excuse was interrupted by Veronica raising her hand to stop him.

"Duncan!" she said forcefully. It served its purpose; Duncan shut his mouth. "If your first thought was about _me_ , then you seriously need to straighten out your priorities." Duncan looked at her in disbelief; clearly he hadn't expected her to cut him off as she had.

"Look, we can stand here with you rambling off whatever excuses you can think of, but at the end of the day, you did what you did and now you have to face the consequences. You've seen that I'm fine. Now you need to go deal with your other priorities."

"Veronica, I wasn't trying to hide anything from you! It just...it has nothing to do with us, so I didn't think it mattered." The casualness in Duncan's voice was so unexpected that it left Logan bewildered. Veronica apparently felt the same.

"Didn't _matter_?" she cried out. She stiffened and looked down, taking a deep breath as she appeared to try to get her emotions in check. After a moment, she looked up at Duncan again, shaking her head. "Of course it matters! We're in a relation—no, no. We _were_ in a relationship." She took another step back, close enough to Logan that she was able to grab at his fingers with hers, keeping them twisted together behind her back. Logan understood immediately. _She needs support._

"Neither of us are the people we used to be; I was foolish to think we could go back to that. Too much has happened...but this? I'm embarrassed for you. And _disappointed_. I really thought you were a better guy than this. All the things we always thought you were—" she twisted back, seeming to include Logan in her statement, before swiveling back to face Duncan again "—but you're not, at least it doesn't look like it. Bottom line—the hero is the one that stays, the villain is the one that splits. "

She dropped her head to her chest, looking down at her shoes. Logan gave her hand a tight squeeze so she'd know he was there for her. Seeming to accept what he was offering, she straightened back up and looked Duncan straight in the eye.

"Man up, Kane. Try being the hero and take responsibility. Ignoring it won't work this time."

She put her free hand on Duncan's shoulder; the fight draining out of her as Logan watched. She nodded at Duncan, seeming resolved, and Logan's eyes dropped to their interlaced fingers. He hoped he was right about what he thought was coming next.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke the words that he'd wished she'd said weeks ago..

"Goodbye, Duncan."

Duncan may have looked surprised by Veronica's initial words, but her final statement, the one that Logan had wanted so badly to hear, turned Duncan's face red with anger. His body tensed and his eyes narrowed as he glared at Logan.

"You put her up to this, didn't you?" Duncan growled.

"No, not at all. I didn't even know she knew about Meg, and I didn't tell her, although I'm not sure why I didn't. Because I agree with her. What you did to Meg was shitty, just like hiding the situation from Veronica was shitty." He reached for Duncan's shoulder with his free hand, thinking maybe he could soften the blow—they were best friends, even if a girl was absolutely changing things between them—but Duncan jerked away.

"Fuck you, man."

He focused back on Veronica again and she took another step back, halted from moving any further away by Logan himself. At the sight of Veronica pressed against Logan, Duncan scowled.

"You already know he's not who you want. Yeah, we're having a rough patch, Veronica, but this'll blow over. Now that I know that you want me to take care of Meg, I'll do it." His voice lowered. "She and the baby won't want for anything. But you and I…we're the ones who are supposed to be together. Not me and Meg, and certainly not you and _him._ " The look he gave Logan would probably have been lethal if that were possible. "Don't do anything you're gonna regret, Veronica. We're forever, but make sure you don't make a mistake with him that _I_ can't forgive."

He turned on his heel, and stalked away toward the crowd of 09ers at the cliffside, most of whom looked torn between watching the tragedy unfolding in the ocean below and the drama going on between Duncan, Logan, and Veronica. He felt Veronica lean her head back against his chest.

"So I think I was just admonished to not let you soil me with your dirty, sexy hands before I come to my senses and crawl back to him."

Logan jerked at her blunt statement. "Umm, yeah, I think that's a fair interpretation. I guess that best friend charm is really lost this time."

Veronica turned to face him. "I'm sorry about that. You guys have been best friends for so long. I'm sorry that's wrecked because of me."

He squeezed the hand he was holding, and chucked her under the chin with the other. "You didn't wreck anything. Duncan's doing that all by himself." He gave her a smile and moved his hand to the top of her head, caressing down her face until he cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm kinda in awe of you right now. Standing up for Meg like you did, at the expense of your relationship. You're an amazing friend, Veronica."

"Don't worry about my relationship, Logan," she replied. "I already knew it wasn't going to last, whatever Duncan thinks. And I just did what was necessary. It's like I told Meg—there's no excuse for what he's done, what he's doing. She doesn't deserve that...no one does." She shrugged and shook her head like she was trying to clear Duncan out of it before she spoke again.

"Did you see what happened? With the bus?" Veronica asked quietly.

He ran his free hand through his hair and nodded. "It was fucking awful. We were right behind it when it crashed...and when we heard the barrier give out...God, Veronica. I-I...I thought...and then, I ran...and I-I couldn't—I couldn't see anything— "

"Hey," she said as she pulled their joined hands up to her chest. "It's OK. I get the gist...I don't want you to have to live through it again. I'm just glad you're safe." She gave him a warm smile and final squeeze before dropping their hands, letting go of his in the process. "C'mon, let's go see if they need anything from us. Plus, I need to talk to Meg."

Logan stayed close to her as they walked back towards the commotion. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket again—something it had been doing all damn day. He knew there was a bored, horny, and probably pissed off housewife wondering why she'd been stood up—and he didn't give two shits. After everything that had happened over the last few hours, there was no way he was going to give up on the possibility of having Veronica back, not matter how good the sex might be. _Whatever it fucking takes._

"Veronica! Honey! Oh my God, Veronica! Are you hurt? Are you OK? I came as soon as I heard it over the scanner! You were supposed to be on that bus!" Keith Mars' anguished voice broke Logan's inner thoughts, and he felt the loss of Veronica's presence as she was pulled into a grizzly bear sized hug by her father.

"I'm OK, Daddy. I'm not hurt. I wasn't on the bus. I'm OK, I'm OK," Veronica repeated as she burrowed into her Dad's embrace. Meg chose that moment to join them, sneaking up next to Logan, sliding her arm around his and hugging it.

"Glad you're OK, Logan,"she whispered. He removed his arm from hers and wrapped it around her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze.

"Ditto, Meg. I thought you guys were supposed to be on the bus, and—wait, why weren't you on the bus?" He looked down at her and she gave him a look of disbelief.

"You forgot to ask Veronica that question?" she teased gently.

"Umm, yeah. We had other, more pressing, topics to discuss. So tell me; what happened? And how'd you get here?"

"We missed it! That was... just horrific. Those poor kids...I just can't believe it." She glanced toward the cliff for a moment, then back at Logan. "So, we missed the bus while I was in the bathroom for the three hundredth time today, but Mr Cook was still there and offered us a ride. We were with him when we got here. I think we were right behind you guys." A contemplative look crossed her face for a second, before she shook her head and looked up at Logan.

"You know, Veronica was pretty upset when she didn't see you with the others…" Meg stepped out from under Logan's arm and turned to face him. She gave him a pointed look and said, "If I hadn't noticed you when I had, I'm not sure what she would've done...the look on her face, Logan…" She offered him a small smile and after a slight look of hesitation, she nodded to herself as if in resolve. "Maybe you're already there, I don't know, but I just think that you shouldn't write her off just yet. I know it's been hard for you, but Veronica's...well, just—just don't give up on her. I made that mistake, but thankfully, she didn't. I would probably have gotten on that bus if she hadn't have been holding me up trying to talk me into being her friend again."

Logan nodded and smiled, trying to control the sudden burst of warmth exploding in his chest at hearing how much he meant to her. "Well, it's good that her constant peskiness was finally valuable," he said, and Meg laughed. _"But_ don't worry Meg, I have no intention on giving up on her. Not ever." He gave her a wink and nodded at her responding smile.

They turned their attention back to the girl in question, who currently had a flashlight shining in her eyes by the EMT who'd suddenly appeared.

"This really isn't necessary, I wasn't even on the bus," Veronica was grumbling, her annoyance at the distraction apparent.

"Sorry, Miss, I'm just following protocol. You were present when we arrived, we have to account for you," the young EMT stated while taking her pulse. He glanced up from his watch and looked at Logan and Meg. "You two are next."

"Oh, um...I'll go find...I'll go find someone to check me out, thanks," Meg said softly. Logan gave her a pained look and watched as she rushed away. Looking back at Veronica, his eyes met hers and the unspoken 'we need to talk' passed between them. He raised his eyebrows in question and she nodded.

"I'm going to go check on Meg, see if she needs me at the hospital." Veronica said nonchalantly. Ignoring her dad's confused expression , she looked again at Logan. "I'll talk to you later, OK? Um...you know where to find me." _Dog Beach. Our Beach._

She nodded at his confirming smile, and then took off towards Meg, Mr. Mars in tow. Logan was left, alone and feeling a little awkward, when his phone began to buzz with a stream of incoming texts.

"Come on, buddy, you're next," the EMT said in an expectant voice. Logan let his head drop back as he closed his eyes and groaned. _Seriously, I don't have time for this shit._ Opening his eyes, he lifted his head and looked at the emergency tech. _Yes, you do, where else you have to go right now? You just going to sit at the beach for two hours, waiting for Veronica to show?_ Smirking, he stretched his arm out to the young man.

"You know, I've always been curious. I guess I can let you have your way with me." He bobbed his eyebrows suggestively. "Do what you must."

Ignoring the comment, the EMT began his work-up, chatting as he worked. "Sure is sad about all those kids. I bet the paps are gonna have a field day. First the Kane murder and cover up. Then Aaron Echolls—that surprised the shit outta me, I'll tell ya—and now this? Guess Neptune can't catch a break!"

Any pithy response he might have had waiting dried up in his mouth as he listened to the young man's comments. Logan ran a hand up through his hair, shaking his head slowly as the EMT continued with the exam, wishing time would move faster ahead, closer to Veronica.

 _Fucking Neptune._


	5. Dark World Aches for a Splash of the Sun

Chapter 5 - A Dark World Aches For a Splash of the Sun

 **Tiny Blonde One to Logan Echolls** **9:55pm  
** _Dog Beach. 1045  
_ _I've got 20 mins  
_ _Tick Tock, Echolls  
_ _Don't be late_ _  
_

Logan shook his head and scoffed a bit, unable to contain the grin spreading across his face. _Some things never change._

 **Logan Echolls to Tiny Blonde One 9:57pm  
** _Yes ma'am.  
_ _I always come  
_ _when I'm told to  
_ _;-)_ _  
_

 **Tiny Blond One to Logan Echolls 9:57 pm  
** _U can't see me,  
_ _but I'm rolling my  
_ _eyes violently at  
_ _u right now. Dork  
_ _:P_ _  
_

 **Logan Echolls to Tiny Blonde One 9:58 pm  
** _Aw, c'mon now  
_ _U know ur smilin  
_ _I can keep going  
_ _all nite_ _  
_

 **Tiny Blonde One to Logan Echolls 9:59 pm  
** _We'll see_ **  
**

Logan's smile was so wide now, his cheeks were beginning to hurt. _Worth it! We'll see indeed, Ms. Mars._ He flipped his phone once in his hand before sticking it into his pocket. Even though Veronica had said they'd needed to talk, which they absolutely did, Logan had doubted it would be tonight. He hadn't left the crash site himself until well after 8 pm, and knowing how protective Keith Mars was with his daughter, he had to admit he was pleasantly surprised that she was making time for him today. He hoped it was a sign of good things to come.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was startled by a silhouette passing by his front door. Immediately alert, Logan slowly crouched down to grab his wallet and keys from the entry table, intent on quietly slipping out the back patio door, away from any unwanted lurkers. For his part, he'd stopped antagonizing Weevil and the PCHers, but he wasn't naive enough to think they weren't still out for revenge. He turned to exit, when the shadow appeared again. This time the closeness of the body to the window made it clear who it was. _Well, this won't be pleasant._

Logan groaned to himself, mumbling as he reached for the door, "Jesus, Kendall! Take the fucking hint!"

He opened the door with a flourish, catching it before it swung all the way back. Kendall Casablancas —his stupid-but-enjoyable mistake post-Veronica—stumbled forward into the foyer, obviously thrown off balance from her poorly executed spying attempt.

"What the hell do _you_ want? Mmm, no. Better question—how the _fuck_ did you get past the gate?" Logan sneered. He fluttered his hands at her in a shooing motion, moving them both out of the house. Door locked, he pivoted back to find Kendall had advanced into his personal space, her stilettos putting them at almost equal eye level.

"Hey, baby," Kendall crooned. She was dressed in a long floral wrap dress, push up bra pulled awkwardly tight, hair done up in a messy bun. She was attractive, sure—a standard requirement for an ex-Laker girl—but the overall picture seemed forced, and made her come off as vapid and cheap.

"You gave me my own code, remember? In case you were feeling lonely. Speaking of, you never came to see me today, and I missed you." She pouted, lower lip sticking out for emphasis, and reached out to stroke a hand down Logan's torso.

Logan was used to unwanted advances from older women—he'd endured more than his share during Aaron's post-press junket parties. He grasped Kendall's wrist, stopping her progress before she put her hands on anything too private, then moved her arm back down to her side, giving her hand a patronizing pat before stepping past her towards his car. Over his shoulder, he shot back, "Sorry, you must be mistaken. I'd _never_ give _you_ your own code. Even if I'm really lonely, my hands seem to work just fine, thanks."

"Don't be like that. You know, it may have just started off as sex, but over these past few weeks it's grown into something mor—hey! _Hey_! Where are you going? Don't you just walk away from me! _Hey_!" Kendall's voice grew more shrill as Logan turned his back on her fully and walked away.

Not caring about Kendall's fake reasoning for them being together, Logan picked up his pace as he strode towards his car, determined to get out of the situation as fast as possible. _The last thing I need is Veronica finding out about Kendall._ He knew he'd have to tell her eventually, but today was not the day. Inches away from his door, he heard a high pitched growl of frustration, followed by the clink clink clink of stilettos rushing to catch up with him.

"God, Logan. Don't be such an asshole. Get with the program here and get your ass inside. You've already blown me off once today, and that is _not_ OK! It's not like you have anyone...anywhere else to b—"

Fed up with her voice, he spun on his heel, eyes to the sky, hands raised and splayed out in question.

" _What_ do I need to do to get this through your head?" he snapped. "How about this—thanks for the fuck, but your services are no longer required. " He looked at Kendall, who gasped as she stood with her jaw dropped in shock.

"I can't believe you just said that to me. Doesn't this mean anything to you?" she spat, her lips pressed together in an exaggerated pout.

"It does. It means I'm getting laid." Logan let out a small laugh, and gave her his best jackass smirk.

"You know, you can joke all you want. I know we have a connection, Logan." Kendall crossed her arms, somehow managing to push her boobs even further at him, and gave him a pointed look. Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes, and she scowled. "You wanna go back to playing grab-ass with cheerleaders who just mastered missionary? See ya. You want things to keep going the way—."

" _Mrs_. Casablancas!" he interrupted, index finger pointed to the sky, completely done listening to her bitch. "I know it's frustrating that Big Dick's namesake has fallen so _short_. And I get why you're looking to us _younger_ models to pick up his slack. But my generous assets are no longer available to you."

" _Excuse_ me?"

Kendall huffed and glared at him. Ready for this to end, Logan turned his back on her in dismissal, opening his door and sliding inside.

"While I'm sure this _tete-a-tete_ could go on for hours, I really do have better places to be. It's over, Kendall. If your husband's shortcomings don't do it for you anymore, go find yourself another Neptune student to bang. Hey—Duncan Kane is newly single, why don't you go bug him."

Logan watched as Kendall's eyes lit up at the mention of Duncan. _Yeah, good luck with that._ He was positive the Donut wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole, but it was exactly what needed to be said to get Kendall off his property and out of his life. As it was, she was already trotting swiftly to her car, clearly intent on tracking down the Kane heir.

Logan opened the driver side door and slid into the X-Terra. He checked his phone. _10:10pm._ His plan had been to stop by Java the Hut and grab them each a coffee, but there wasn't enough time for that now. Throwing his car in reverse, he swung it around, pulling out of the gate, his body thrumming with anticipation. He hoped tonight would give him the answers he needed on where they stood, for his own peace of mind and weathered heart.

* * *

The fog was already hovering over the Pacific as Logan made his way toward their spot. Over the summer, they frequently found themselves out at the edge of the public beach. A high rock wall jutted out from the road above, down to the lowest visible tide line, cutting the public off from the private beach on the other side. It teed into another wall that paralleled the ocean and the road, and was bordered on the ocean side with boulders of all shapes and sizes.

The first time Veronica had dragged Logan all the way down there, his inability to keep his hands off her almost caused him a literal pain in the ass. Completely wrapped up in their drugging kisses, he'd tripped as they walked past the boulders, and landed, thankfully, on a large flat rock, pulling her down with him. It was embarrassing at first, but once they'd realized that no one came that far down the beach, and that the road noise above, combined with the lapping waves, would drown out their make-out noises, it quickly became one of their favorite hiding spots.

As Logan approached, he smiled when the feisty blonde he'd been thinking about all day appeared in the moonlight. Her back was to him, crouching to grab the ball Backup had dropped at her feet. He quickened his pace, with a hop-skip into a full on sprint, coming up behind her as she raised her arm to throw the ball again. Before it could leave her hand, he reached up and plucked it from her grasp.

"Why am I not surprised?" She sighed as she turned, and he saw her eyes rolling.

He thought for a second she was actually upset, but her teasing smile reassured him. Wanting a doggie-free moment alone with her, he threw the ball as hard as he could, grinning as he watched Backup bound away.

"I aim to please." He grinned down at her, reinforcing the double entendre by bobbing his eyebrows.

Veronica let out a snort and gave him a playful shove, laughing louder when he lost his footing and tumbled into the sand.

"Sure you do, buddy," she said, still laughing at him as she extended her arm to help him back up. Once he was on his feet again, she released her grip on him and turned to walk slowly along the tideline. The urge to reach out and take her hand in his was nearly overwhelming, but Logan held back, not sure it would be well-received. They walked in silence for a few moments before Veronica spoke.

"So…" she said, drawing out a long 'oh', eyes remaining on her feet.

Backup bounded back toward them then, and Veronica hesitated long enough to pick up the ball he'd dropped at her feet, giving it another strong throw. She gave Logan a skeptical look, one eyebrow raised, when she turned towards him. He smiled in return, curious what was in that brilliant head of hers, as she looked back at her feet. He wasn't sure what to expect from tonight—not that he expected to get back together straight away—but it seemed now that both of them were unsure what to do next.

 _I'll take awkward for a thousand please, Alex. Geez._

"So…" he mimicked. Taking a deep breath, Logan blew it out in a low whistle and draped his arm around Veronica's shoulders. Noticing that she didn't push him away, he gave her a tight squeeze. _Old habits die hard..._

"It's been a rough day, huh?" He looked down at her sympathetically and she huffed at the understatement.

"Yeah, you could say that," she answered, wrapping her arms around his middle and giving him a quick squeeze back, before straightening up again. "But I'm not ready to think about all of that quite yet."

She gave him a quick hip check, and he lurched away, grabbing for her hand as he made a show of trying to steady himself in an effort to lighten the mood. He pulled her into another hug and they both laughed before Veronica took a step back, still holding his hand as she gave his chest a patronizing pat with her other hand.

"Poor baby. Can't even stand on his own two feet." She gave him a wry grin as she stilled her hand over his heart. Amused at her jab, Logan gave her a genuine smile.

"Good thing I have you here to anchor me."

"Ha! Yeah, OK. Like you'd want me in possession of your leash," Veronica chuckled.

"Hey, a leash can be fun," Logan leered, as he waggled his eyebrows.

Veronica scoffed loudly and smacked him lightly across the chest. Logan, always the showman, dramatically bent over and oofed, clutching his chest in fake pain, causing Veronica to burst into giggles. _I could listen to that sound 24/7._

"Mind out of the gutter, Mars," he fake wheezed. "I meant for dogs, like Backup."

"Riiight. And I ooze out sunshine and rainbows wherever I go," she snarked.

Logan righted himself, Veronica's hand still in his, and gave her a goofy smile.

"No, no. Marshmallows and Promises, Tiny Blonde One."

Veronica snickered, rolling her eyes. "You're impossible."

The look Veronica was giving him now made Logan's heart swell. _This_ was why he was here. Veronica's eyes were full of laughter and glee; at that moment, Logan made a vow to do his damnedest to make her feel like that, for as long as she would let him.

The breeze off the ocean blew through Veronica's hair, floating strands over her eyes and nose. Logan reached up to tuck them behind her ear, neither of them breaking eye contact as the moment changed from fun to serious.

"I don't think I said this before Logan, but...I'm really glad that you weren't on that bus today."

Logan huffed loudly and looked away, glancing over her head at Backup, who was taking his time ambling back to them.

"I'm sure the world wouldn't be too upset if another Echolls met their tragic demise," he said. "I don't matter enough to anyone to be missed too much." He felt the happiness from moments ago begin to deflate as their eyes met again.

Veronica appeared slightly abashed, eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head.

"I would," she whispered, her eyes locked on his.

"You would what?"

"I would...miss you, Logan."

Veronica raised her hand to his face, hesitating for a second before she cupped his cheek with her palm. Logan nuzzled into her hand, overwhelmed as always by the emotion he felt when she did that. He could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes, and was sure she could see the same in his. Everything he'd felt earlier—anxiety, fear, loss, and the relief and elation that followed—began to build again.

He raised his own free hand, mimicking her by placing it on the side of her face, their other hands still clutching each other. If this had been any other time, or any other day rather than the one they'd just had, Logan thought he'd be kissing her already, pouring everything he felt for her into it. But it wasn't any other day, and he knew that if he did make a move now, and even if she reciprocated, tomorrow would probably just bring more confusion, _and most likely regret on her part._ He wasn't willing to risk that. He couldn't lose her now. He wouldn't. _Don't fuck this chance up, Echolls._ He took a deep breath and gave her a shy smile.

"I really want to kiss you right now," he whispered, looking up at her from under his eyelashes.

A slight look of panic crossed Veronica's face as she slowly dropped her hand from his face, but he'd been expecting that, and moved to catch both her hands in his, giving them a tight squeeze. He gave her a warm smile and shook his head, continuing on with what he needed to say.

"But don't worry," he said with a soft chuckle. "I won't."

Feeling confident she wouldn't run away—she was staring at him intently now—he slipped one of his hands free of hers and tucked the loose strands behind her ear again.

"Veronica, I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I was when I realized you weren't on that bus." He swallowed thickly, attempting to keep his emotions at bay. "God, I mean, I was the world's _biggest_ asshole over the summer, convinced what I was doing was right. But, fuck Veronica, they _shot_ at us—at _you_! I couldn't let them get away with that…"

Logan could feel the anger begin to simmer in his core, but he wasn't here to rehash last summer. He closed his eyes, shaking his head to dispel the negative thoughts, and refocused on Veronica's eyes. He always felt his most calm when lost in them.

"I realized though, that none of that mattered, not as much as losing you, you know? And today..."

He ran his hand through his hair before dropping it to his neck and rubbing it nervously. He realized that the tears that had been threatening were now spilling down her cheeks, and he reached out to wipe them away with his thumb, feeling his own on the brink of escape.

"Veronica, I am so sorry. About last summer, not putting you first. I'm sorry for not stopping when you asked me to, and not realizing that it was a test that I completely failed, until it was too late." He laughed sardonically. "I'm sorry about that stupid lamp…"

That got a small laugh from Veronica, as she shook her head and smiled to herself.

"Replace it with one just as tacky, and I think I can forgive ya for that one," she teased. She gave him a genuine smile now, all traces of panic gone from it. "Look... Logan. You are one of my oldest friends, and..."

Hesitating, she took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. Her intense gaze felt like a tether for Logan, and there was no one else in the world he'd rather be connected to than her.

"I don't want to lose you from my life. Today...that was enough. I don't want to go through that again. _Ever_. You are too...important to me. But, I can't...I'm not ready-"

"Hey," Logan interjected, squeezing her hands as he shook his head. "I didn't come here tonight to get back together, or...whatever. I know you just broke up with Duncan, what...four hours ago? And even though he's been a complete douchebag—I get it, you know? I know you still care about him and aren't ready to...whatever...with me. Us. And I'm OK with that, for now. All I care about is you."

He gave her a Mona Lisa smile, hoping what he said next wasn't too much. "And this time, when it does happen, _because it_ will _happen, neither of us can deny that now,_ I want it all, OK? No more hiding in the bathroom or pretending we aren't together. After today, pretty sure everyone knows how we feel anyway."

Veronica beamed at that statement, which warmed Logan through. He'd take her approval of his words any day.

"I really want to work on our friendship, maybe see where it goes? I meant what I said, Logan, I don't want to lose you. And I know you didn't have anything to do with Felix's death. I'm going to do whatever it takes to clear you, trust me on that..."

He didn't think it was possible to love her any more than he did in that moment. Overwhelmed, he took her face in his hands and leaned forward, repeating his actions from earlier—planting a solid kiss on her forehead before pulling her to his chest in a fierce hug and resting his face against the top of her hair, breathing her in. She reciprocated, wrapping her arms around him, and holding him just as tight.

"I'm so glad you're OK," Veronica whispered against his chest. Logan squeezed her tighter, wishing he never had to let her go.

Her support in his defense meant the world to him. He'd felt utterly lost after they'd broken up. Now, he felt ready to take on the world, as long as they did it together, supporting each other through it all. He knew he'd fucked up royally over the summer, and he knew that he had a lot to make up for, but this time he was ready to put in the work that would be needed to earn her trust.

Pulling back, they both dropped their arms this time. Backup had plopped down at their feet earlier, and Veronica crouched to hook his leash, softly crooning to him as she did. Logan smiled down at her as he watched. When she stood, she wrapped her arm in his and they walked together back to the parking lot.

When they reached her car, Veronica opened the passenger door and let Backup in, tossing her bag into the back. After shutting the door, she turned back to face Logan, leaning against the car as she smiled up at him. He knew an opportunity when he saw it, and jumped right in.

"So…pick you up for school tomorrow?"

Logan batted his eyelashes and gave her a toothy grin. "I promise I'll get you there on time. Carry your books. Maybe even open your door for you." She giggled and facepalmed dramatically, shaking her head.

"With an offer like that, how on earth can I refuse?" she said with a smile.

Logan nodded and gave her a two finger salute and a bow, now fully laughing. As he straightened and backed away toward his own car, Veronica moved around the front of her car to the driver's side, still chuckling and shaking her head. She reached her door, then stopped and moved a step back to lean on the hood, smiling at him.

"So, I know we just agreed we're gonna be friends, and not rush into anything, and, when we're ready, no more hiding, right?"

He nodded slowly, not certain where she was going.

"I just wanted to say...the hiding in bathrooms part? That wasn't entirely bad."

His mouth dropped open in surprise, and she gave him a pleased smile, then a quick wave before she stepped back to the door and slid into the car.

Logan stood for a moment, stunned, and more than a little turned on by the memories she'd just deliberately triggered. He watched her back out, and raised his hand in response to her wave as she drove away. He watched her taillights disappear, then grinned and spun on his heel, heading to his truck. _This might work out sooner than I expected._ Finally, things were beginning to look up.

 _Just one more stop..._

* * *

All things considered, Logan was pleased with the outcome of his brief conversation with Veronica. He knew he'd gotten through to her. They both understood the significance of the each other's hang ups; Veronica had just broken up with Duncan, and wasn't ready or willing to begin dating—himself, or anyone else, but it was clear she was interested in getting back together at some point. He was relieved, because he wasn't willing to settle anymore for anything less than all in. _I don't fucking deserve any of it, but I want it so damn much._

Now, though, he needed to sort out this business with Duncan, before he got the wrong idea about what happened earlier. It wasn't that Logan was condoning Duncan's actions on the cliff, not even a little bit, but he needed Duncan to be clear that Veronica made her own decisions. Yes, he would be thrilled if Veronica came back to him, but he certainly hadn't set out to 'steal' her back from Duncan. Certain of his next step, he pulled out of the parking lot, the Neptune Grand his next destination.

 **Logan Echolls to The Donut 11:20 pm  
** _Hey, dude, you awake?_ **  
**

Logan had just parked his car in the self parking lot at the Grand, and it only took a minute before his phone chimed back with a response.

 **The Donut to Logan Echolls 11:22 pm  
** _Yeh. What's up, man?_ **  
**

Logan gave a huff of surprise, then got out of the car and headed inside. _Huh. Not angry…? Interesting._

He'd only been to Duncan's suite once before, when he'd brought Meg over to pick up her stuff while they knew Duncan and Veronica had been out on a date. It was right after Logan had learned about her pregnancy. She'd been too distraught to drive herself, when they'd seen the couple walking out of Java the Hut together, but Logan had been impressed when Meg had been able to get the Grand's desk clerk, Tina, to let her into Duncan's room. Meg and Tina had been partnered together under the mentor program at Neptune High Cheer camp and Meg had leveraged that past relationship to her advantage. _Just goes to show. You should never underestimate the sweet ones._

As he reached the 18th floor, he sent off another quick text.

 **Logan Echolls to The Donut 11:31 pm  
** _I'm at your door. Open up_. **  
**

He firmly triple knocked, then leaned up against the doorframe—a rush of sudden anxiety running through him. _Shit! What if he_ is _still pissed...this really isn't how today was supposed to go._ Swallowing the uneasiness, he manifested an air of nonchalance, smirk firmly in place.

The door opened, revealing a shirtless Duncan—looking a bit disheveled and flushed—standing there in his boxers that were a bit askew, as if—

 _What the fuck…?_

There were only two possible reasons Logan could think of why Duncan Kane would answer the door looking post-coital, and, if he was totally honest with himself, he couldn't imagine either Meg or Veronica getting physical with Duncan after the earlier events of the day. That helped keep his tortured and all-too-vivid imagination in check.

"Uh...hey, man. Am I interrupting? A little 'me' time for what ails ya?" He formed quotation marks with his fingers, huffing out a forced laugh as he tried to figure out what was happening.

Duncan had opened his mouth to speak, when the bedroom door opened behind him. As Logan spotted Duncan's guest, he raised his palms to his eyes and shook his head, then ran his hands over his hair before dropping his arms to his sides. The disappointment and utter disbelief that Duncan would actually do this was overwhelming.

"I can't believe this is happening," he grumbled to himself.

"Hey baby, is that our—oh. It's you." Kendall sneered, coming up behind Duncan, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Come to make things more interesting?"

Logan rolled his eyes, purposely ignoring her leer. _As if._ His initial shock had begun to wear off, a slow building anger rising to take its place. He'd thought for sure that Duncan would be wallowing too much in his own self pity over what happened with Veronica earlier, that he would've shut the door in Kendall's face—or at the very least, given her his blank, oblivious look and driven her away out of sheer boredom on her part.

"What, uh, whatcha doin, DK?" His eyebrows raised, Logan looked at Duncan pointedly, wondering what could have possibly possessed him to stoop this low.

Duncan looked over his shoulder at Kendall, who was still clinging to him. She flicked her tongue behind her top teeth and he let out a quiet laugh, before turning back to face Logan with an angry sneer. His expression was so un-Duncan-like, almost animalistic, that Logan was momentarily frozen with incredulousness at how crass Duncan was being. _What the hell, DK?_

"I'm just takin my cues from the Echolls Men's playbook," Duncan snarled, shrugging without any appearance of regret for the implication he'd just made.

The building anger became red rage, as Logan regained his bearings and began to clench and unclench his fists. It wasn't the intentional jab that made him livid, but the complete disregard of everything that had happened earlier between the now ex-couple. He'd chosen to remain silent before, but now, Duncan's total lack of respect for Veronica was pushing his limits. Especially after that possessive spiel about how they were "meant to be"?

His best jackass smirk in place, Logan nodded his head, raised his arms and clapped his hands, lacing his fingers together.

"Yeah, you're right. This is absolutely something I would do. Already did, actually. Sloppy seconds, man." Rage crossed Kendall's face and Logan wondered momentarily if she had access to Big Dick's hand gun collection. "But that's because I'm an asshole who's expected to fuck up. But, Jesus DK...this? Her? What are you thinking? You just got done ripping into Veronica about not doing something you couldn't forgive, which you actually had _no_ right to do, and look at you now, man. Didn't she mean anything to you?" _The fucking hypocrite!_

"Of course she does. I love her." Duncan's face darkened then, his voice dropping an octave and he gave Logan a pointed look. "But what she _doesn't know_ , won't hurt her, right _buddy_?"

Logan raised an eyebrow as he considered what sounded like a veiled threat.

"What? I keep my mouth shut about your bad choices and you won't tell on me about mine?" He shook his head in disgust.

"I am right here," Kendall chimed in, but Logan again ignored her.

"You know what, man? I came here to make sure we were OK—that you didn't think I had anything to do with what happened between you and Veronica. But, you obviously couldn't care less about her, or anything else. So, fuck this, and fuck you, Duncan. I'm out."

He turned on his heel, and headed for the elevator.

"Fantastic priorities, DK!" Logan yelled over his shoulder, one last reminder to the guy he'd once defended so fiercely.

"She's mine, Logan," Duncan called after him. "You can try to worm your way back into her good graces all you want, but you'll never be good enough for her. She and I belong together. We're soulmates, Echolls, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to keep us from being together!"

Logan chuckled to himself and smiled, raising his hand over his head to flip Duncan off, then reaching for his phone as he hit the elevator down button with the other.

"We'll see," he muttered to himself.

 **Logan Echolls to Tiny Blonde One** **1143pm  
** _I'm gonna need  
_ _coffee b4 school  
_ _Large double shot  
_ _w/ xtra cream?_ _  
_

 **Tiny Blonde One to Logan Echolls** **1143pm  
** _3x shot. Gonna be  
_ _a long day xP ... &  
_ _a muffin. Blueberry.  
_ _Don't be late Xx_ _  
_

* * *

 **A/N - I promise I am working on the next chapter, as I type! My goal is aiming for a chapter a month. Sorry if that's a long time in between, but we do our best! Next update should be around Oct 15! Thank you for reading!**


	6. For The First Time In A Long Time Now

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! October was a doozy for me, time wise. I participated in Promptober over on AO3! It was a lot of fun, and I intend to add the mini AU's and other prompts to FF in the near future! I REALLY appreciate your enthusiasm for this story. It helps keep me motivated!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 - I Feel Good For the First Time in a Long Time Now**

The pink cashmere sweater Meg's grandmother had given her for her 16th birthday was beginning to feel tight. _Oh, this is so not fair_.

Having convinced her mother that she'd developed chronic migraines, she'd been able to fend off any actual Cheer work with the doctor's note she'd procured from her GP. She'd been allowed to sit on the sidelines with the rest of the squad in her Cheer tracksuit, as long as her makeup, hair and ribbons were flawless. Tonight, however, was the first away game of the season, and she was required to come in full uniform. A uniform that no longer fit over her stomach. _Geez, could I be any more of a cliché?_

Thus far, the weather had been on her side. Neptune High was only 6 blocks up from the County beach, so the morning fog rarely burned off until noon. By then, she was able to wear her sweater during Study Hall after lunch— _because Ms McGibbon likes her books stored in a freezer_ —and Sixth period Spanish—so she'd been able to hide her continuously growing bump. _So far, at least_.

Hopeful for a miracle, she grabbed her uniform from her closet, folded and placed it, her shoes, and her ribbons in her gym bag. Turning to take one last look in the mirror, Meg smoothed her sweater down, her hand stopping over her baby bump.

It had been a week and two days since the bus crash, and she still couldn't believe how lucky she'd been for missing that bus. Since that day, Veronica had stayed true to her word, and stuck to her like glue during school. She'd insisted on picking her up, which of course meant Logan was actually doing it, since he insisted on driving Veronica to school. _Those two dorks need to just kiss already_.

Meg had spent a lot of time thinking about how different everything might have been, had Veronica not been so persistent that day. She could have been dead, or worse, survived but in some horrible vegetative state, unable to do anything to protect her unborn child from harm. _Definitely worse._

Grabbing her bookbag by the door, she headed down the stairs into the kitchen to wait for her ride. Entering, she found her father, Stewart Manning—the highly respected City Council Member and business man—at the table reading. Her youngest sister, Grace, sat at the end. There was a single glass of water and a piece of uneaten dry toast on a plate in front of her. Grace was looking down, her long hair hiding her face. She looked up briefly, but turned her attention back to her food when Meg gave her a sympathetic smile.

Knowing what the simple meal signified, although what innocent little Grace could have done to deserve penance, she couldn't guess, Meg swallowed her angst and grabbed a pre-made green smoothie from the refrigerator. She knew she needed to get out of there before she said something to make it worse for her sister.

"Morning, Daddy. Don't forget, I'm taking the bus after school with the team to Mission Hills. I'll get a ride home."

Meg hesitated a moment, seeing if her father would give her any kind of reaction, but when none came, she swallowed thickly, then leaned down to give her father a kiss on the cheek. At that, he finally grunted in response and nodded, although his eyes remained focused on his paper.

Feeling uneasy about her actions, Meg quietly slipped out of the kitchen towards the front door. The requirement that his daughters greet him in this fashion was relatively new. Her father had come home about nine months earlier, and announced that the family would be welcoming an unexpected guest to dinner. He had told Meg that this man was a Pastor, and whatever he said at the table was to be taken as gospel. Literally. Since then, things around their house had gone from a little on the strict side to out and out horrific. Lizzie had been shipped off to a private boarding school for unmanageable youths. And Grace…

Shaking her head to lose that train of thought, Meg opened the front door to find Veronica preparing to knock. She arched an eyebrow, giving Meg her signature head tilt.

"Megan. Are you hiding your psychic abilities from me? Because that could be extremely helpful in these dark times," Veronica teased.

Meg rolled her eyes and giggled at Veronica's overly dramatic statement. "Aw shucks, Veronica. You caught me!" She snapped her fingers and shrugged. "I'll try to be more considerate of your needs in the future."

"Good. Now come on, Logan gets pissy when his coffee gets cold. We stopped at Java the Hut on the way over. I got you a croissant to nibble on during P.E."

Wrapping her arm around Meg's, Veronica steered them down the walkway to Logan's SUV.

Meg was touched by the protectiveness and care both Veronica and Logan had shown her over the last week. Veronica's friends were happy to welcome her into their fold, always making sure she was included in whatever shenanigans they came up with that day.

As she climbed into the backseat, Logan turned around and saluted Meg. She gave him a serious look and nodded in return. He smiled, and Meg could see he was amused she was playing along.

"Morning, Miss Manning. Did your little birdie friends help braid your hair today?" he teased.

"Ah, no. But...they did promise they'd cover my chores this week," she joked, grinning.

"Like 09ers have chores," Veronica scoffed loudly. Silence filled the car for a beat, until all eyes met and the group burst into laughter.

Logan turned back to the wheel after they'd regained some composure. Meg watched as he shooed Veronica's hand away from the radio, earning him an exaggerated gasp.

"Tut tut! Nooo touchy," he said pointedly.

As Meg predicted, Veronica wasn't ready to concede.

"But Logan, I thought you _liked_ touchy," she purred.

Meg pursed her lips together to keep herself from laughing at Logan, but as he processed Veronica's words, his expression morphed from playful to challenged. Her hand flew to her mouth to cover the giggle that threatened to escape as she watched him hold Veronica's gaze, not noticing her fingers sneaking closer and closer to the dial. It wasn't until the tiniest quirk of her lip that he broke their silent conversation by flicking his eyes to the radio.

"Hey! You little minx! I _said_ no touchy!" He laughed, capturing her wrist and placing it back on her lap.

Veronica huffed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. She stuck out her tongue as Meg and Logan both chuckled at her tantrum.

"Fine then," she said with a pout, "we'll suffer through your terrible taste in music."

"Yes, you will."

"Then, onward, Jeeves!" Veronica commanded. "I can only stand this for so long, and the tardy bell waits for no one!"

"As you wish."

It wasn't the first time, and definitely wouldn't be the last, that Meg wished she could wave a magic wand and make all the issues between her two love drunk friends go away. She only hoped they could find their way back to each other, before anything else happened. But of course, this was Neptune, and she knew that wish was probably a long shot.

* * *

Having just squeezed into her cheer uniform, Meg zipped up her spirit jacket, folding the bottom under causing it to bunch, unsuccessful in hiding her bump. Madison Sinclair had been on her all day for not wearing her uniform properly, snidely pointing out that the sweater she'd been wearing over it was doing nothing for her figure.

For a brief moment, Meg had been horrified, thinking Madison had figured out her secret, but when she'd begun fussing over Meg's hair, she realized there was no way Madison's shallow perception would make the connection.

As she exited the gym, heading towards her locker, she saw Veronica at her own locker, Ashley Banks and her friend on either side of her. From the look on Veronica's face, she was none too happy to be there.

She watched as Veronica slammed her locker door shut, causing both 09er girls to jump before sneering at her as she marched away. Logan, who'd entered the hallway around the same time that Meg had, moved swiftly to catch up with her, giving the two friends an unimpressed glare as he passed. Meg noticed how quickly Veronica relaxed in her posture when she realized it was Logan's hand on her shoulder. It made her happy to see her friend have someone as caring as Logan on her side, especially after the last couple years.

Moving to her locker, Meg overheard Ashley and her friend, who were now bitching about Logan still being hung up on Veronica. _As if they ever stood a chance._ Just for kicks, she slammed her own door shut, chuckling to herself at the exaggerated gasp she got out of Ashley, before heading to the vending machine for a water bottle.

She smiled when she saw Veronica lean back against the row of lockers she and Logan had stopped in front of, and begin to giggle at whatever Logan was saying to cheer her up. Veronica rolled her eyes before pushing herself upright and hip checking him as they began to walk towards the parking lot.

Meg laughed and shook her head as she bent down to retrieve her purchase, then was startled by the sudden growl in her ear.

"This is all your fault, you know."

Meg turned around and came face to face with Duncan. His eyes were full of disdain as he stared past her at the two friends, who were on their way out the door.

Suddenly realizing she was alone with him for the first time in weeks, she slowly backed away, putting a good three feet between them as he pinned his gaze on her. He took a step towards her and she wrapped a protective arm around her bump.

Duncan hardly noticed, continuing to advance on her even as she stepped back, leaving less than a foot before pointing his finger at her face. Meg froze, fully aware of his fits. With no one else in sight, the last thing she wanted to do was provoke him. When they'd dated, he'd told her about his condition. It was a way of developing trust, she'd thought, opening up to each other about themselves. _That happened right before the night we..._ She refused to think about that, now.

"This is all _your_ fault," he repeated. "Why did you do it, Meg? Why did you tell her about the ba—about _that_!" He waved his hand at her stomach, growing more agitated.

She was suddenly furious at his use of the word "that" in regards to the child inside her whom she already loved— _that he'd helped create!_ —and she disregarded her earlier apprehension of him, slapping his finger out of her face.

"I. Didn't," she growled through clenched teeth. "Unlike you, I _keep_ my promises. I told you I wouldn't, and I haven't told a soul."

She glared at him as he took a step back, showing surprise at her aggressive response. He regained himself after a moment though, and gave her a hard look.

"I don't believe you! She won't even look at me anymore. How am I supposed to fix things if she won't let me? Why else would she be like this?"

Meg was stunned.

"Do you even know her at all? No one has to _tell_ her anything! She _always_ figures it out." She paused, glaring at him. "Were you ever planning to tell her? Or were you just thinking we'd disappear and you'd be in the clear?"

Duncan looked at her like she was crazy and she realized that he really had no clue who Veronica was now. It didn't seem to matter what Veronica did—in Duncan's mind, she was nothing more than his innocent first love. Meg frowned at him and shook her head sadly.

Frustrated now, Duncan groaned as he began to pace in a circle, his palms pressed against his temples. Suddenly appearing to have had an epiphany, he stopped and spun back on Meg, taking a step towards her before pointing his finger at her again.

"Are you and Logan working together to keep us apart?" he said, his voice deadly low. "He convinced her to break up with me the day of the crash. She would never have done that if she didn't already know about the baby. Look, I know you're still upset about our break up, but I thought you understood. Veronica and I belong together."

"Veronica Mars is no longer your concern, man."

Duncan and Meg both turned to see Wallace, standing with Jackie Cook, their newest classmate. Meg had met her briefly on her first day, but they'd been assigned as project partners in Econ, and had become familiar.

Exhibiting a complete 180 in behavior, Duncan straightened and took a step back from Meg, extending his hand out to Wallace for a fist bump.

"Fennel! Hey man, how's it going? Things are looking good for basketball this year. All thanks to you, from what I hear," he smarmed. He gave Wallace and Jackie his patented 'Golden Boy' smile, but it seemed to fall short.

Meg stifled a laugh as Wallace looked down at Duncan's hand with disdain, before looking back up at him and frowning.

"Mmm hmm," he hummed, before turning to look directly at Meg. "Everything OK here?"

Grateful for his timely approach, Meg smiled sweetly and stepped past Duncan to stand next to Jackie. "Hey guys. Actually, I'm glad I ran into you! Jackie, I was on my way to talk to you about, um...something. Think I can pick your brain while you walk out?"

Picking up on her discomfort, Jackie gave her a sly smile and wrapped her arm around Meg's shoulders, steering her towards the door. She looked back over her shoulder to address a confused Duncan as they began to walk away.

"Sorry, you know how it is. No _boys_ allowed." She gave him a fake smile before glancing at Wallace, who was following them. "Except for Wallace," she said, giving him a quick look up and down. "From what I hear, he's a _real_ man, so he can come."

"You heard that right." Wallace puffed out his chest before hitting it with both his fists, causing both girls to break into giggles as they headed out the door.

When they'd reached Jackie's car, she turned to Meg, clearly concerned.

"OK, the last time I ran into that guy, he was arguing with your other blonde friend. What's his deal?"

Embarrassed she'd been unable to get out of the situation herself, Meg wrapped her arms around her stomach and shook her head, purposely positioning her hands as far away from her bump as possible. It was muscle memory now. _No one can know_.

"You mean Veronica?" Wallace asked.

"Yeah, Veronica. I was trying to order a drink and he was behind the counter with her—she didn't seem to be any happier about talking to him than you did."

Meg nodded, recalling the afternoon earlier in the week.

 ***FLASHBACK***

 _Parked in a booth against the divider wall in the middle of the Java the Hut, Meg leaned against the cushion behind her and sighed, throwing her pen down atop her assignment. She'd been working on the same three essay questions since Logan dropped her and Veronica off an hour and a half ago, before heading to Veronica's apartment to walk her dog. Mr. Mars was out of town for the night, and the three of them had planned a movie night at Logan's later. Meg was still trying to think of a plausible way to bow out._ Talk about being a third wheel.

 _Hoping something sweet might stimulate her brain, she looked up at the display case full of desserts. Deciding she'd try a piece of German Chocolate Nut-gasm, she scooted herself towards the end of the booth with the intention of flagging Veronica down._

 _That's when she saw them._

 _Duncan was leaning over the front of the hostess podium, smiling while he spoke. Veronica, to Meg's immense relief, had her back to him as she busied herself straightening the reading material on top of the Public Events desk. The coffee shop wasn't huge; there wasn't really a way to have a completely private conversation._

 _"Veronica, I really miss you. Please have dinner with me. I've reached out to Meg already, so that problem is solved…" He looked smug until Veronica cut him off by slamming down the stack of newspapers in her hands on the table._

 _"I think you need to look up the definition of the word solved, Duncan," she growled, glaring at him as she returned to the podium to grab the cleaning rag she'd left there, before heading back towards the counter. Duncan, of course, moved immediately to follow._

 _"Hey, did you see the story on the news about that guy that runs that gas station by the crash site?" he asked, trying to position himself in her field of vision as she wiped down the counter. "He's selling memorabilia or something. It was pretty funny."_

 _Meg cringed as she watched Veronica's fists ball up as she stopped cleaning. She couldn't believe that Duncan could be so crass about something so tragic. From the look on Veronica's face, she'd bet the other girl was also less than thrilled by his easy dismissal of what had happened two days earlier._ Oh, Duncan. When will you learn...

 _She saw the new girl she'd met the day before—Jackie Cook, daughter of the man who'd driven her and Veronica safely away from Shark Stadium—approach the coffee bar to order a drink, when Veronica suddenly chucked her cleaning rag against the back wall and turned to face Duncan._

 _"Duncan. I'm really trying to keep my cool here, but now I need you to leave," she said, her voice firm._

 _Duncan stepped slightly back, his confusion by her response evident. "Babe...uh, Veronica. I don't understand—"_

 _Veronica's hand flew up in a halting motion and Duncan fell silent, but she drew in a deep breath and brushed her bangs out of her eyes before she spoke._

 _"How can you be so unaffected by what happened? If Meg or I had been on that bus, would you still be this way? What that man is doing, exploiting this tragedy... Those were our classmates, Duncan. People we knew. It's despicable. And you, finding humor in it…" Veronica shook her head sadly, and Meg immediately empathized. It was hard, knowing that it could have just as easily been her on that bus with the others._

 _The gravity of his words becoming clear, Duncan emphatically shook his head no. "Wait, no! That's not what I meant by that. Veronica?"_

 _"Excuse me? What do I have to do to get service around here?"_

 _Clearly done with the conversation, Veronica ignored Duncan's plea by turning to acknowledge Jackie with a nod and pulled out her ordering pad._

 _"You know you can do better than him, right?" Jackie stated, giving Duncan an unimpressed once over._

 _Meg stifled a snort when Veronica, unamused by the relationship advice from a stranger, arched her eyebrow and gave her a look, plastering on a smile. "How can I help—"_

 _"Oh, believe me, she knows."_

 _Looking for the person that matched the voice, Meg saw Logan approaching, making a beeline straight for Veronica. She smiled to herself as he'd made his way behind the bar, positioning himself between Veronica and Duncan intentionally. Jackie, who had seemly abandoned her need for a hot beverage in exchange for fresh Neptune drama, perked up as she leaned against the counter in anticipation._

 _Duncan, for his part, had noticeably stiffened as Logan leaned down to whisper something in Veronica's ear. He scoffed when Veronica rolled her eyes and playfully shoved him away._ This isn't gonna go well.

 _"What are you doing here, Logan?" Duncan growled between clenched teeth. He attempted to sidestep him to get closer to Veronica, but was blocked by Logan's casual ean against the counter next to Veronica._

 _Knowing Veronica wouldn't appreciate too much of a scene, Meg stood and walked towards the group. She knew Duncan had noticed her when she heard him gasp quietly, probably not realizing she had become friendly with Veronica again after her pregnancy revelation._

 _"Hi Logan, Veronica. Have you met Jackie yet? She's new at school," Meg said hesitantly, suddenly unsure if interrupting whatever was happening was the best idea._

 _Thankfully, Veronica gave her a relieved smile before turning back to Jackie. "Nice to meet you. Sorry for the delay. You can ignore Tweedledee and Dum here, I'm not off the clock yet and they'll both be ignored until I am," she said, indicating with her thumb over her shoulder to Logan and Duncan._

 _Logan smirked at the nicknames before nodding at Jackie, giving her a quick wave. Duncan, however, scoffed at the lot of them before stomping off in a huff._

 _"Guess he didn't like the nickname," Jackie laughed. Veronica shrugged and before getting down to business, handing her a printed list of The Hut's drinks._

 _Meg smiled at the exchange, before rolling her eyes at Logan's cheeky smile._ That's not the only thing he didn't like.

 ***END FLASHBACK***

"Well, I'm glad you're OK, Meg. You're one of us now, and we look out for our own." Wallace gave her a warm look, giving her a one-armed squeeze of her shoulders.

Meg smiled at his words, giggling a little when Jackie winked her response.

"I really appreciate that guys. I'm glad I found my way back to the ranks. You guys are the best."

After exchanging goodbyes, Meg headed back towards the bus where the rest of the Cheer squad was loading. As she waited to board the bus, she noticed Veronica and Logan standing by the side of his car, in what appeared to be a serious moment. The pair were facing each other, Logan smiling down at Veronica as he gently tucked her hair behind her ear. Veronica was smirking up at him, her arms around whatever she was holding. Meg smiled and shook her head at her two friends as she stepped onto the bus, wishing they would just do everyone a favor and realize it was inevitable.

She had no idea just how close to that reality they actually were.

* * *

 **A/N2: As always, thanks to Irma66 for her wonderful beta skills. OG, you** ** _know_** **=)**  
 **A/N3: Come find me on Tumblr mrskissytaylor . Tumblr .com**


	7. My Love Is Vengeance That's Never Free

**A/N: Thank you to all of you that have sent me lovely messages of encouragement and enthusiasm for this story! Your words mean the world to me! 3  
** **A/N2: TW: Mentions of canon abuse**

* * *

Veronica slowly pushed the door to The Hut open, stepping out into the early evening air. The coastal winds had picked up, causing her to wrap her arms around herself as she headed for her car. It was the first time in a week that she'd driven herself anywhere. She'd dismissed Logan driving her to work as mere convenience—why should they both drive from school to her job if he was going to end up there to keep her company anyway?

Of course, that was just the cover she'd decided to put forward. Ever since the bus crash, Veronica had felt anxious when she wasn't aware of Logan's location. Not that she'd put a tracker on his car or anything. _Although…_

She'd discovered that day that he meant more to her than she'd realized, more than she was prepared to admit to him. If he _had_ been on the bus that day...it made her heart ache when she thought of it so she tried not to dwell. The hard truth was that she didn't want to risk missing any more time with him. It was precious, and they'd lost enough, so she continued to allow him to chauffeur her around.

Veronica had stopped by work to pick up her most recent paycheck—she'd convinced Logan she didn't need to be driven today, not that he didn't try pretty hard to change her mind. Instead, she'd made plans to pick up Meg after cheer practice so they could spend a little girl time together. She'd assured Logan that they'd be fine without him and she'd text or call him later. Getting into her car, she turned the radio on, hoping to drown out her own thoughts by focusing on the music.

The universe seemed to have other ideas as she wound her way through downtown Neptune, reflecting on how much everything had changed, and how quickly it had happened. This time last month, she was too livid with Logan to even look at him. Duncan had seemed like the person she _should_ be with, despite her instincts telling her otherwise. She was glad that she realized they'd been trying to recreate something that didn't exist anymore, before they had taken their relationship any further.

The trip to school was quick. Veronica parked her car and headed through the back entrance to the quad to wait for Meg. Sitting at her table, she pulled out her laptop and notes from the FBLA presentation Mr. Casablancas had given earlier that day. Though the club wasn't something she enjoyed, she knew it would look good on her Stanford application. Plus, it was the only time during school hours that she shared a classroom with Logan; she figured as long as she had a friend in the class, it was worth it. The fact that the friend was Logan... _well, maybe that had its own appeal._ Engrossed in the pamphlet of one of Big Dick's latest hotels, she jumped when a pile of books was slammed down onto the table next to her.

"Now I have to explain to my dad why I'm home late. Again." Jackie slumped down onto the bench next to her with a heavy sigh.

"Well, there went my golden years, thanks," Veronica griped. "And what, pray tell, are you still doing here?"

"Detention."

Veronica's curiosity was now fully piqued, hearing that. _So Wallace is falling for a bad girl. Interesting…_ "I see. What'd they get you for?"

"Cheating," she said with an eye roll.

"Ah. Damn those pesky rules."

Jackie gave Veronica a pointed look. "I didn't do it. Ms. Hauser decided I was cheating, so she gave me an F and put me in detention, the stupid cow. I was just trying to get a tissue out of my purse. I sound like I have a frog in my throat from all the coughing; she had to know I'm sick. I thought people in California were supposed to be laid back?"

"Maybe if you're an 09er, the rest of us are realists. Except for Mrs. Hauser. She's just bitter and nuts." Veronica laughed.

"Mmm." Jackie nodded, then glanced around the quad, looking over her shoulder at the parking lot. "So, no tall, brunette He-Man chauffeur today?"

Veronica snorted. "Please don't let him hear you say that. The last thing he needs is ego inflation from my friends."

She noticed Jackie smile at her use of the word 'friend'. They'd only known each other a little over a month, but Veronica had grown to appreciate her wit and humor. She was good friend for Wallace—though Veronica was convinced they both wanted more than just friendship—and seemed to have clicked with Meg over the last week or so. Veronica initially thought that was a bit odd, but she figured since Meg was a popular 09er in her own right, latching onto her could be considered a step up on Neptune's social ladder.

"Noted." Jackie smirked. "Send him away with his tail between his legs?"

Veronica chuckled as she packed up her notes, noticing various athletes trickling out of the locker rooms; Meg wouldn't be far behind.

"Nothing that extreme. I just decided I was overdue for some girl bonding time, and scared him off with threats of hair braiding and self-pedicures."

"Ah, the real price of beauty. I guess there are some things even pretty boys can't handle."

"True dat."

"You know," Jackie said coyly, picking up her things as she stood to greet Wallace, who was walking out of the gym. "If a man was so insistent on spending time with me that he offered to drive me around everywhere? I'd hold onto that, make sure he knew there was a light at the end of that tunnel, know what I mean?"

She gave Veronica another pointed look. Veronica couldn't help but smile at the implication, pursing her lips to hide it as Wallace approached them.

"Hey Veronica, Jackie." Veronica thought he seemed a little nervous, as he began to bring one fist down on top of the other in rhythm. "I'm gonna reach out here, and hope that one of you can give me a ride home? I don't have a car, so...unless you wanna force a brother to take the bus..." he said, pleadingly.

Stepping to stand next to him, Jackie bumped his shoulder playfully with her own. "I'm already late anyway, and my car is just over here. Unless, of course, you'd rather participate in girl bonding with these two?" She indicated to Veronica and Meg, who had just appeared next to Veronica.

"Yeah, come on, Wallace. You _know_ you're down for some girl on girl nail painting. It can get _pret-ty_ hot." Meg joked, causing Veronica to snort loudly.

"Uh, thanks but...I'm gonna have to pass on that. Moms just had her crafting buddies over for their monthly 'Stitch 'n Bitch'; I am all bonded out. I'll head out with Miss Cook. You ready?" He nodded to Jackie.

"Sure am. See ya 'round, Veronica, Meg."

"Later, Meg, Supafly."

Waving at the pair, Veronica fell in step with Meg as they headed for the Le Baron. Though they had hung out at school or at The Hut almost daily since the crash, this was the first time it was just going to be the two of them. She glanced up at Meg, who was scanning the parking lot as they approached the car.

"Looking for someone?" Veronica asked.

"I'm waiting for Logan to jump out and scare us, or something. It's been three minutes and you're usually attached at the hip by now," Meg teased as she got into the car.

 _Why does everyone keep bringing that up?_

"It's just the two of us today, my dear. Unless you really want him snooping around your room."

"That would be a big no thanks. Well then...what is it you say? Onwards, Jeeves!" Meg quipped, laughing at Veronica's unamused sneer. Her laughter was contagious though, and Veronica shook her head as she pulled out of the parking space.

"Yes ma'am!"

* * *

Meg's house was the only part of the 09 that Veronica felt comfortable. _Other than Logan's._ She lived at the base of 'Mount Millionaire', where the richest street in Neptune began, winding up to where the Echolls and Kane homes towered at the top. Meg's house was set back from the street, nestled behind two large oak trees. Veronica parked at the end of the Manning driveway and Meg led the way into the house.

"Hungry?" she asked as Veronica followed her towards the kitchen.

"Is the sky blue?" Veronica quipped.

Meg snorted and shook her head. "I should have known. Have a seat, I'll find something for us in the kitchen. Six months ago, my parents decided that 'God fearing people do not entertain the notion of servants', and fired our housekeeper." She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a smorgasbord of various cheeses, and two bottled waters. Setting it on the counter, she reached for one of the baguettes in the breadbasket on the counter.

"Geez, it's not like you're the only 09er family to have a house staff." Veronica grabbed a slice of cheese and began to nibble, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she watched Meg lean against the counter to grab a slice herself. She looked from Meg to the food, and back. "Though, yours may be the only 'God fearing' 09ers out there," she said, her stomach growling loudly. _Wish I'd finished my lunch earlier._

Standing up, Meg frowned at the food, and glanced around the kitchen in thought. Wrapping an arm around her stomach protectively, she moved to open the pantry, but shut it and stepped back quickly, when a loud beep sounded when she opened the door. _That was weird…_

"I thought your sister was like, 8?"

Giving her a solemn nod, Meg stepped back next to Veronica and began to pick at the piece of bread she'd sliced.

 _Then what's with the child locks?_

Meg appeared agitated by her thoughts and Veronica grabbed her water bottle, strumming her nails on the top. Something was off. Meg's overall outlook had been altered post bus crash, but Veronica hadn't seen her retreat into herself like this since last year's purity test debacle. A light breeze came in through the opened window above the sink, causing her to shiver. Coming out of her stupor, she noticed Meg refocus on her.

"Why don't you go grab one of my sweaters? There is a really soft pink one in my closet that should fit you." she said, as she began to clean up the food. _I guess we're done eating then. I'll text Logan to bring us something. He'll probably jump at that._

Smiling at the idea, Veronica nodded. She headed out of the kitchen and up the staircase, lost in thought about how long the wait would be at Cho's. _I wonder if Corny is working today? Maybe he'd throw in extra cheesecake egg rolls_ —

"Aggh!" she yelped, as she came face to face with Grace Manning on the landing at the top of the stairs. Breathing rapidly, she pressed her hand into her chest to calm herself, observing Meg's youngest sister while doing so. Her face seemed gaunt, with dark bags under her eyes. Veronica hadn't interacted with her when she'd visited Meg at home last year, but she was positive the child hadn't looked like this. She seemed to remember a brightness to Grace that now seemed to be lacking. Calm enough to speak again, she gave the young girl a nervous laugh and pointed towards Meg's room.

"Oh, hey, Grace. I'm just heading in to Meg's room...O-K…" She trailed off, as Grace moved past her and down the stairs, not giving her any acknowledgment. _Huh. Zombie much?_

She watched as Grace walked into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch, her back straight and hands folded in her lap. Veronica wasn't sure what was going on, but it was making her uneasy. The interactions she'd had with Meg since they'd arrived, and now this—something wasn't right. Spider senses now on high alert, she stepped into Meg's room. Opening the closet, she began to push hangers aside in search of the sweater.

"Pink, blue, pink, white, pink, pink...geez Meg. Is this it?" she mumbled to herself, pulling a light pink sweater out. Feeling it between her fingers, she shook her head and replaced it. Touching the one next to it, she nodded to herself as a familiar voice echoed in her head. _"If there is one thing I ever teach you, Veronica Mars, it's how to know the difference between real cashmere, and that knock off crap they try and sell you at Macy's."_

Smiling to herself at the memory of Lily's declaration, she jiggled the sweater free from the hanger, knocking down the one next to it in the process. Lifting it out of a box marked 'Goodwill' in Meg's handwriting, a bit of bright pink material caught Veronica's eye. She crouched down for a better look, pulling out the top part of the dress Meg had worn to the 80s dance last year, and the thick black and silver rope necklace she'd forced Veronica to wear that night.

Draping the sweater over one arm, she began to rummage through the box. For a change, her snooping was more about nostalgia than...well...snooping. She recognized a worn black and white notebook from their Junior High days. They all used to pass them back and forth, like notes to each other. Lilly had come up with the idea, after talking her way out of detention for that reason. She passed her hand gently over the well-worn book, then bent it back and flipped the pages, just for the familiar feeling in her hands.

It was the lack of color she noticed, first.

Expecting the pages to be a rainbow of ink, all she saw was black pen, with perfectly written words across every line. Looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was there, she opened the notebook and frowned at what she saw as she skimmed the page.

 **The path to God is paved with righteousness. The path to God is paved with righteousness.  
** **The path to God is paved with righteousness. The path to God is paved with righteousness.**

It was written over and over across the page. That uneasy feeling began to build again as she flipped through the pages, seeing the same words repeating. Though found in Meg's closet, it wasn't her writing. Having snooped through Meg's sister's things last year, she knew it wasn't Lizzie's either. The perfect lines in each letter reminded her of the posters hung in the classrooms of the younger grades. _Grace...?_

"What the hell is this?" she said to herself with disgust.

"That's only from one day last week. There are two more from that same day in my vent."

The sweater now long forgotten, Veronica clutched the notebook in her hand and scrambled out of the closet. Standing upright, she grasped it with both hands and held it out to Meg. Her face was full of anguish, eyes devoid of light, just like Grace's earlier.

"I didn't know who to go to, Veronica. I didn't know what to do."

Reaching for the notebook, Meg took it from Veronica's hands, bending the cover back and running her hands across the page. Unsure of what to say, Veronica remained silent. Dreading whatever explanation was coming, she waited as Meg repeated her actions as she flipped through the book.

"The path to God is paved with righteousness...for I will lay down vengeance upon he who strays," she stated. Looking up at Veronica, she swallowed thickly before handing the notebook back. "That's the twisted version my Dad's convinced is true."

Veronica stepped aside and Meg moved past her to the closet, grabbing the dropped sweater and handing it to her before walking to her desk and pulling out the chair. The calmness she exuded as she stepped up and unscrewed her vent cover— _the perfect place to hide Neptune's darkest secrets, it seems_ —then pulled out three more notebooks, made Veronica very uncomfortable, but she knew there was no going back now. She needed to know everything.

"What _is_ this, Meg? Is that...is that Grace's writing?" She took the look of remorse Meg gave her as confirmation. "Why is she doing this? Is it some form of punishment or something?"

"Yeah, punishment by way of mental torture," Meg answered bitterly as she sat down on the edge of her bed. "About nine months ago, my parents joined a new church. It didn't seem weird at first—they've always been pretty strict, always getting mad at Lizzie for her rebellious tendencies. But then one day, Grace disappeared for about an hour, only reappearing with her wrist wrapped in my tennis tape, like she had some kind of injury. When I asked her about it, she said it was from all the writing."

"That's a pretty vague answer. How did you get from that to this?" Veronica asked, holding up the book.

"I brushed it off at first. But it kept happening. And the times she was gone were getting longer. Sometimes she'd miss a meal, sometimes she wouldn't be in bed when I'd get home from an away game." Meg paused, pursing her lips and squeezing her eyes shut at the memory.

"It wasn't until one day when I'd come home from school, with morning sickness of all things," she scoffed. "I was supposed to take her to see a movie that day. I'd gone into her room to apologize and reschedule, but she wasn't there. As I was walking out, I heard a sneeze—she always sneezes five times. And I could hear—."

She placed her hands over her mouth as she muffled as sob. Overwhelmed with emotion for her friend, Veronica moved to the bed and wrapped her arms around her in comfort. _Please don't let this be as bad as it sounds…_ Recovering, Meg wiped the tears from her eyes, then began to fiddle with the hem of her skirt.

"I could hear her in the _wall_ , Veronica. I found a panel in the back of her closet, and when I removed it, she was there...writing. Oh my God, Veronica, you _have_ to help me. _Please_ say you'll help me get her out of here. I'll do _anything_ ," she pleaded, grasping Veronica's hands with her own and squeezing them tightly.

Completely dumbstruck at this new information, it was all Veronica could do to nod in agreement. This was not at all what she'd thought when she'd run into Grace on the stairs, but it was something she knew she had to try and fix, immediately. _How could anyone do that do their child? I can't imagine anyone...LOGAN._

It was because she'd always regretted not taking action against Aaron Echolls when she'd figured out he'd been abusing Logan, that she vowed in that moment to do whatever she could to help Meg with Grace's escape. She had been furious at herself last year for standing idly by, something she still prided herself at not doing, unlike some. _Unlike Duncan. Oh, God…_

"You said you were already pregnant, but still sick. Was this before school ended last year?" Veronica frowned at Meg's nod of acknowledgment. Something still felt off. Finding all of this out, especially now that Meg was pregnant, almost seemed intentional.

"Meg, did you _want_ me to figure this all out? Is...is that why you sent me up here?" she asked, glancing down briefly at the notebook, then back up to Meg.

The desperation in Meg's eyes made it clear to Veronica that her guess was right, and Meg had planned for this to happen. She gave the other girl a slow nod, contemplating her next question. She knew what needed to be asked, and was already dreading the answer she expected. She seemed to be asking her this a lot, as of late.

"Does Duncan know about this?"

Dropping Veronica's hands and wrapping her arms protectively, Meg let out a devastating sigh. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Veronica exhaled loudly and shook in her in disappointment. _Of course he did._

"I told him one night last year. It was during the last date we'd had before...well, before we broke up. He said he'd talk to...someone? He said he'd take care of it, but then Logan's unbirthday party was two weeks later, and... he just forgot, I guess. I mean, maybe he'd already done—" Veronica held up her hands to stop her. She wasn't going to listen to Meg trying to excuse Duncan's actions.

"Meg, stop. Just...don't. Don't make excuses for him, he doesn't deserve it. He walked away when he did; it's done. That doesn't matter now, anyway. What matters is figuring out how to get you and your sisters as far away from here as possible, OK?"

Holding her breath as she waited out Meg's defeated head nod, Veronica knew Duncan's actions mattered. This was far from over. Leaving Meg while pregnant was one thing. Leaving her and her unborn child unprotected under the roof of a religious fanatic was another. She knew whatever she ended up doing would be extreme, but saving Meg from Mr. Manning was worth it. Making Duncan pay for everything he'd done to her friend absolutely was, too.

 _He has no idea what's he's just done._

Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she hit the record button and placed it on the bed between them.

"Look, Meg. Before I can do anything, I need you to go back to the beginning - when all of this started, OK? I'm gonna need you to tell me everything."

* * *

 **Special thanks to Irma66, for her _incredible_ super friend (and beta) powers. You are my tribe, OG!**

 **Logan returns next! Stay tuned!**


	8. Whatever It Takes

**A/N: As always, special thanks to Irma66 for being the best beta a girl could ask for**

* * *

 **Chp 8: Whatever It Takes**

* * *

"Yeah, Dad. It's fine. Do you need me to book your flight before you go?" Veronica closed her eyes, head leaning against her headrest and phone tucked tight to her ear. After spending the last hour with Meg going into detail about the kinds of things her father was doing to Grace, Veronica had told her she had to get to her dad's office before dinnertime. She hadn't gotten out of the Manning's driveway though, before her dad called, and she tried to concentrate on the details of his last minute trip on the heels of a skip trace.

" _I think I'll manage just fine at the gate tonight, sweetheart. Thanks for the offer though. I really don't deserve you."_

Smiling at the compliment, Veronica thanked the universe she was lucky enough to have a dad like Keith Mars.

"Nope, you really don't. OK, Dad. Call me when you get to New Mexico."

" _Will do. And Veronica? Curfew still applies, even when I'm not home. Now that you and Logan—"_

"No one allowed in the house after eleven, I've got it," she interjected, in an attempt to steer the conversation away from her not-quite-boyfriend. "Don't worry, Dad. I'll be anxiously waiting by the phone for your goodnight call. All alone."

" _All right then, honey. I love you."_

"Love you too, Dad. Bye."

Dropping the phone into her lap, Veronica held her head in her hands, breathing deeply as she contemplated her next move. Her rage-fueled emotions were telling her to do something, to strike at the Mannings and get Grace out of that house, but she knew she needed to keep herself in check. The Mannings were one of the most respected families in town: Stuart and Rose, both in administrative public service and a part of the 09er elite. She couldn't just waltz into the Sheriff's Department and file a complaint without proof. Accusing Stuart Manning with nothing but a notebook and the word of his knocked up teenage daughter wouldn't get them anywhere. _Focus, Mars. Time to get to work._ Pulling herself together as best she could, she picked her phone back up again and pressed 2 on her speed dial. After all this time, she'd never changed it.

"Couldn't last an entire afternoon without me? I'm flattered," Logan teased when he answered, but Veronica didn't feel up to the playful banter.

"Are you home?" she demanded.

"Yeah. Veronica, what's wrong? Are you OK?" The playful tone now gone, she could hear the concern in his voice.

"Open the gate. I'll be there in two." she said quickly, shutting her phone before he could respond. Putting her car in reverse, she backed out of the driveway and headed the rest of the way up the hill towards the Echolls'.

Two minutes later, Veronica turned into Logan's driveway, threw her car into park, grabbed her bag and scrambled out. Even the short drive from Meg's had been too much. Her mind had been whirling through all the different scenarios Meg had told her about with her father and Grace—taking away food, drink, sleep. It was already traumatizing enough to hear, knowing no one had done anything to stop it, and probably wouldn't have believed it anyway. What made it worse was when she suddenly remembered Trina's words last year at The Grand. " _Cigarette burns and broken noses. Oh, the stories you used to tell."_

At the time, things had been so complicated between her and Logan. Friends again? Maybe more? And he'd seemed fine, so she thought whatever Trina had implied had been in the past. Now, after having learned about what was happening in the Manning household, things she would have never guessed by looking at Meg, she regretted not doing more to find out what was happening. Aaron could have been doing anything, and she would never have known. She'd left Logan to the monster who killed Lilly and had left her to die in a freezer.

She leaned back against her car, her emotions, already raw from Meg's confession, now overwhelming her as she imagined what Aaron might have been doing to Logan. All the terrible things she might have been able to really help him with, if she had just taken action. She stared at the ground as she heard the front door open and the sounds of Logan hurrying toward her. She knew any attempt to thwart the oncoming tears would dissolve as soon as she looked up.

"Veronica! Hey—what's going on? You hung up on me and left me freaking out," Logan called out as he jogged towards her.

She met his eyes, pressing her lips so firmly together they began to tremble. She felt the tears release and let out a whimper, putting her hands to her mouth when realization dawned on Logan's face at what was happening. Shaking her head, her hands moved across her eyes and she began to quietly sob, letting out all of her frustration and anger at the shitty, shitty hands the people she cared about had been dealt. Furious with herself, with 'Veronica Mars', for not seeing the warning signs. For not figuring it all out and saving everyone. Logan pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his chest. He lightly stroked the back of her head, resting his cheek on top of it.

"Hey, hey...shhhh, Veronica. It's OK. It's OK," he repeated. "I'm here, you can tell me anything. Come on, let's go inside, OK?"

"NO!" she cried, pushing herself back. "No, Logan! It's not OK. God, I thought...I didn't know _what_ to think last year. We still weren't really friends again, and your sister is always so overdramatic. I should have done something, I should have realized—" Her voice broke and she pressed her face back into his chest.

He must have realized what she was referring to, because he sighed, then placed his hands on either side of her face, lifting her head up to look at her as he wiped the tears from under her eyes.

"Veronica," he said, firmly. Raising her eyes to meet his gaze, Veronica sniffled as she tried to pull herself together again.

"I don't know what brought this on, but Veronica, Aaron was— _is_ —a monster. I couldn't live with myself if you had tried to get involved in any of that, and he'd hurt you, somehow. I mean, look at what he's already done. After my Mom...you know...he really didn't touch me again. And yeah, I know that might not have lasted if he was still here, but I only had a year and a half more to go, and I would have gotten away from him, OK? I was handling it. _"_

" _Handling_ it?" Infuriated that he was trying to minimize it, Veronica grasped his wrists with her small hands, trying to remove his, but he didn't budge. "Logan—that rat bastard was hurting you! Friends or not, it wasn't _right_ and I should have _done_ something! I could have _helped_!"

"No, you couldn't, I wouldn't have let you. But hey— _hey_ ," he pleaded as she twisted her face out of his hands. Instead, he placed them lightly on her waist in a compromise she didn't resist. Bending his knees to bring him to her eye level, he looked up at her through his eyelashes.

"Veronica, it doesn't matter now, OK? He's locked up, hopefully for life or longer. Forget about him. We're here now, together, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. You've already saved me in so many other ways. But right now, I'm _really_ fucking worried about you. _Please_ , let me help you? Let's go inside."

Veronica nodded and let him turn them toward to house, leaning into his side as he wrapped his arm around her waist. It wasn't until they were inside and passing through the kitchen that Veronica realized that her guilt had distracted her from her thoughts of Grace. She stopped abruptly and Logan turned back to look at her.

"Veronica? What—"

"I'm sorry, Logan. Believe it or not, I didn't come here to talk to you about you and your dad." She scrubbed her hand over her face. "I just—I need to—" She groaned in frustration over her inability to articulate what she'd come here to tell him.

"Hey, it's okay. Come on, s-sit down, here." Taking her hand in his, he lead them over to the barstools a few feet away. "I'm listening, whatever you need to say, take as much time as you need, OK?"

Clearing her throat, Veronica met his eyes again, swallowing hard in preparation.

"I just came from Meg's. And, oh God, Logan. I can't—you won't believe it. What am I saying? Of course, you of all people would!" She covered her eyes with her hands again, then scrambled for her shoulder bag. "Look, I found this notebook in the back of Meg's closet." She pulled out the notebook and handed it to him.

"It's Grace's. Meg and Lizzy's little sister. Her father punishes her every time she steps 'off the path of righteousness' and locks her in the crawlspace in her room and makes her write this shit over and over for hours at a time."

She watched as Logan's face contorted from confusion, to horror, and finally into seething rage.

"That's not all, either. Sometimes he takes away her food for a day. Or forces her to stay awake all night in order to 'keep the devil from her mind' while she sleeps. Meg says he justifies it by saying Grace is still a pure soul, and she needs to be exorcised of sin before it consumes her. 'It's the way to God's truth,' and that the purpose of her life is to 'light the pathway to heaven,' or some other bullshit!"

Logan flipped through the notebook, his grip on the cover tight enough to turn his knuckles white. After their conversation about his past, she knew this information had to be difficult to hear. Figuring she wouldn't get a verbal response, she pressed on.

"Logan…" she sighed, knowing this blow was going to be the hardest. "Logan, Duncan knew. Knows. Has known….since before school ended last year."

At that, his eyes shot up to meet hers, the shock, disappointment, and fury that she expected, all there in that one look. Any chance for rekindling of friendship between her two oldest friends was dying right before her eyes, but there wasn't anything she could do to stop that.

"Meg said she told him after they found out she was pregnant. He _told_ her he would take care of it. But then he dumped her, and the entire time he was...pursuing and then dating...me." She winced slightly at the twitch of Logan's eye after bringing that up. "Once again, he stood idly by and did _nothing_." Leaning one arm on the countertop, she placed her forehead in the palm of her hand as she waved the other arm towards the sky.

"How could he have known all of that, and never done anything to stop it? I mean, he's _Duncan Kane_! He could have snapped his fingers and made it all go away. How could he be with _me,_ and not do something? Hiding a baby is one thing, but this? I would have done, I don't know... _anything_! But for months, he's never said a thing! I mean, who _does_ that?!"

Hopping off her stool, Veronica moved to stand between Logan's legs and raised her hand to cup his cheek. The fierceness on his face softened at her touch, as he pressed his face into her hand.

"Logan, you may not agree, but I will forever regret not doing anything to help you. And now, I _have_ to help Meg get Grace out of that house. I have to help _Meg_ get out of that house. She _cannot_ bring her baby into this world under that roof. I haveto do _something_."

He nodded, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear, setting the book down next to them. " _We_ have to do something. I'll help you. Whatever you need."

Giving him a sad smile, she placed her free hand on his other cheek and pressed their foreheads together. She took a deep breath of relief.

"It's not gonna be easy. I have an idea, but first I need toconfront Duncan. And we _both_ know that's not gonna be fun." She huffed at the thought. "You need to know, this is probably gonna put an even bigger dent in your friendship."

Leaning back, Logan ran his knuckles down her cheek as he searched her face. Smiling at whatever he'd found, he brought his hand to the back of her neck and held it there, acknowledging her words with a firm nod.

"Whatever it takes, OK? I'm with you, Veronica," he vowed.

Their eyes still locked, Veronica reached for his hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing it tightly, giving him a firm nod.

 _Whatever it takes._

* * *

The elevator ride up to Duncan's floor felt excruciatingly long. Veronica knew Logan was struggling with the news that his best friend wasn't who he'd always thought he was, especially over something that was so personal to him.

She'd be lying to herself if she said a miniscule part hadn't hoped Duncan had a reason for not acting when he found out about Meg's situation. Unfortunately, the more she thought about it, the more she knew he'd completely put Meg out of his mind for her. _As if I didn't feel terrible enough already._

As they reached their designated floor, Veronica glanced up at Logan, whose eyes were fixed on the door, appearing to be deep in thought. She watched him unabashedly for a beat. It meant everything to her that he was with her in this. He'd found his way back to being a solid source of support in her life, and Veronica was grateful that _they'd_ found their way back to each other. Whatever this was between them, she felt no need—or frankly any desire—to run from it.

"Hey." She bumped him with her shoulder, focusing her eyes at her feet, attempting to hide the smile she couldn't stop from forming. "Thanks for being here with me. I...get that this might not be easy for you."

"Nah," Logan said, bumping back lightly. "Veronica Mars is fighting the good fight, and I wouldn't miss the chance to see it in person." Wrapping his long arm around her shoulders he pulled her into his side, placing a kiss atop her head. "Besides, I'd follow you anywhere," he murmured into her hair.

Feeling her cheeks flush at that declaration, she laughed nervously, hip checking him as he squeezed her tighter to him.

"Oh, you." She waved her hand in dismissal, dropping her head to hide the silly grin she felt spreading across her face.

They stood in silence for a moment. Veronica felt the fluttering in her stomach begin to build rapidly as the energy between them began to buzz. She'd been feeling even more drawn to him lately. Their relationship had been on her mind consistently after their conversation at Dog Beach the night of the crash, as she weighed the pros and cons of taking that next step with him. She knew he wanted the real deal this time, as did she, but she still hadn't been sure she was ready for that yet.

After today though, their conversation earlier, and his vow to see this clusterfuck of a situation with Meg and Duncan through to the end with her, she couldn't help but wonder what was holding her back. The thought made her huff out a laugh.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Logan asked as the elevator dinged. He didn't drop his arm as they stepped out into the hall and began walking towards Duncan's suite.

 _You're the only thing standing in your way now, Veronica._

"I talked to my Dad earlier," she began. "He called to tell me he was heading to New Mexico."

"Another person thinking they could outsmart a Mars, hmmm?" Logan quipped. Clearing his throat, he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry he won't be there for you when you get home tonight. Especially after all…this." He swept his arm in front of them, implying their current situation.

Nodding, Veronica swallowed thickly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He was right. She wasn't looking forward to being alone.

"Yeah...about that. I'm...I don't really want to be alone when this is all over. I was thinking maybe...you can take me home to check on Backup, and hang out?"

"Sure, whatever you need."

They began to slow their pace as they approached the door. Before he could knock, Veronica stepped out from under his arm to face him.

"You can stay, I mean, if you want."

Pausing before his fist hit the door, he raised his eyebrow at her, and laughed. "Slumber party in the living room? Snuggling in our pillow fort until we fall asleep?" he mused. Appreciating his attempt to make her smile, Veronica played along, hoping he'd pick up on what she was suggesting.

"Did I say anything about sleeping?"

Licking his lips, Logan slowly nodded, bobbing his eyebrows as he knocked twice on the door. "Roger that."

They both sighed, the energy between them cooling rapidly as they heard murmuring and shuffling on the other side of the door.

"You know Duncan's not gonna be a happy bunny when he sees us here, together. Are you sure you want to go through with this? I'll back you, no matter what." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Positive."

Taking Logan's hand in her own, Veronica gave him a firm nod, steeled her resolve and faced the door. She couldn't believe the last time she'd knocked on this door, she was dating someone she thought she knew completely. How wrong she was.

Stealing one last glance at Logan, she noticed him swallow thickly, as he pulled on his sleeve with his free hand...She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze and he glanced down at her, nodding firmly as the door began to open.

She watched as his focus moved to the door, his eyes widening in shock. Frowning in confusion, Veronica looked up to see Kendall Casablancas—a woman she'd only spoken with a handful of times —standing in the doorway.

"Baby!" she called over her shoulder. "Look who decided to come back!"

Completely confused, Veronica opened her mouth to question the robe-clad woman in front of her as to why she was answering the door, when she saw Duncan approaching them with only a towel around his waist. Her mouth dropped as she began to piece together what she was seeing.

 _I think I'm gonna be sick._

* * *

 **A/N 2: Sorry this took so long! Life...happened, but here we are, finally! Unfortunately, regular updates on this fic have been hard to stick with - but I do planto see this story through to the end. Thank you all for sticking with me! Your lovely comments motivate me to keep going!**


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